Revenge wogging is..well, emotional.

I had no intention of running tonight. And I lived up to that thought.

I was supposed to teach class tonight but it wasn’t meant to be. Went to Target and  Froyo instead. I still needed to get some exercise in. I knew damn well it would not be a run, wog, or jog.

I needed to at least walk. Somewhere. Anywhere.

I couldn’t find my earbuds. And when I walk I don’t like to be left alone with my thoughts. You know, with them being  evil plotting revenge thoughts and all. No earbuds, means no music, means alone with thoughts.

I started walking randomly in a different direction than usual. No destination in mind. Just random wandering. And I start thinking of how hard it is to run. I mean to really run. Fast, hard, continually, determined. How my whole body aches all the time.  How much harder it is on my lungs. How revenge has become a thing for me when I have not a single competitive bone in my body. Why does the PR mean something? Why now that I have aged so much do I want to start living?

The thoughts can overwhelm me at times and I catch my eyes welling up with tears.

Then I think… THERE IS NO CRYING IN REVENGE!!

I am stronger than my thoughts. I am stronger than my worries. I am stronger than my mental fatigue.

I WILL AVENGE MYSELF AND PREVAIL!

One emotional step at a time.

Revenge is hard on your underwear….

With all the extra workouts and wogs, I have come to this conclusion:

I need to buy more underwear! Seriously, I am currently changing them at least twice a day on workout days. No one warned me that this would be a problem. I have now categorized my current inventory of underwear:

#1 work underwear with no telltale lines.

#2 comfortable underwear for my fitness class workouts.

#3 crappy whole ridden underwear to sleep in

#4 underwear that are going to need to be changed after a wog because they are drenched in sweat. (happens during my fitness class too)

Another mile in today. Jogged all but one minute. Fastest time logged on RunKeeper app. I have to run further and faster if I am going to finish a 5K in qualifier time for the big 12K run in May. My theory: One mile at a time. Getting out there consistently will get me stronger as I go. How do female marathon runners handle getting their period while training? That is a subject for another blog.

Happy wogging to you and happy underwear shopping to me!

P.R.

Get out of bed. Get out of bed. You are going to jog a mile this morning. Get out of bed!

Thoughts racing through my mind before I even suit up. Maybe I will just do some Pilates instead of a jog. Or Plyo. Both forms of exercise I fear and detest more than running. Just do this, just do this, just do this. It is one mile. You did it yesterday. YOU NEED TO DO THIS.

Thoughts on my jog. Oh my breast are aching I wore the wrong bra this morning. Man my knees are tight.  Did I take a Benadryl before I left? I still have to boil eggs and make crab salad for hubby’s lunch. Why do I feel so tired? It must be all that junk food I ate this weekend. I didn’t properly fuel myself. I didn’t even have a cup of coffee yet to wake me up (gasp!!) I can’t keep this pace up…..

…and then I just start walking. I walked more of my one mile today than I wanted to. I walked for half of the time it took to finish. I could hear my RunKeeper app telling me I was slowing down. I wasn’t going to finish as strongly as yesterday. All I could think was ‘when I get around this bend I will start jogging again’ and then it would be the next bend or the next bend. Finally, I get up to a jogging gait. I hear the app tell me I finally reached a mile I stop the RunKeeper immediately. I don’t want to hear how much I sucked today. Two minutes longer than yesterday. Ugh.

Then I get an email from the app. It tells me I just set a new record. What? How? I open the email. It says I have run 7 times so far this month. SEVEN TIMES!!  That is a new PR. This is something I can be proud of. This is something that will fuel my revenge against my mind. I still have eleven days left in July! I can set a crazy higher new goal for August!

Revenge wogging is hard. But I AM WORTH IT!!

Baby revenge steps..

Today I actually got off the couch and went for a jog!! Yes an actual jog!

I only walked for 1 minute! One minute, this is huge people, HUGE!

Okay, so it was only 1 mile.

I started downhill so the gravity and momentum would help.

I tried to end on a downhill so my average pace looked good.

I think this is called ‘inflating the numbers’…or something along those lines.

According to RunKeeper I have officially set a new running record. A new personal record.

Which in the running world is referred to as PR. (I am in the know now)

My first true baby step to hatch my evil plan of revenge has begun!!

Revenge against my thighs. Revenge against the naysayers. Revenge against the people who say I can’t. And most importantly, revenge against my negative mind.

Who says revenge wogging isn’t healthy..

Wog on people. Wog on.

Todays revenge wog brought to you by thighs

My thighs.

The reason I can’t run in shorts. The reason I have to buy jeans with stretch. The reason I have invested in the Glide for Her sticks. The reason my one piece bathing suit is a struggle to get on and off.

My thighs and I have always had this kind of relationship. They are large and in charge. I have tried to change my mindset from hate to acceptance. Simply stating that I have ‘powerful, strong thighs’ It doesn’t always work.

Every time I am in shorts and go for a walk the constant burning and chaffing between my thighs reminds me of why I am learning to wog.

Revenge on my thighs! They must be tamed. I dream of a time when I can wear shorts and move without causing a small fire between my legs!

I was told of a product called Glide. I found some and purchased two sticks. Expensive little sticks. It looks like deodorant, and for all I know it probably is just that. You simply roll it on to your chaffing spots when you run. The pictures suggests your bra areas, bottom of your feet (what?)and your thighs. I use this product when I wear a dress. It goes on a little sticky at first. I try not to move until it dries. And it last for a few hours if I am just hanging out in my dress or shorts. As far as using it when I wog? Not yet. I  am not brave enough yet to go in anything but my workout pants. Guaranteed no chaffing, or burning or smokey thighs fires that way.

Revenge on my thighs. Reason #2 for picking up the wogging.

Why I wog. For revenge.

Wogging: This is what I call my form of ‘running’. It is a cross between a jog and a walk. To be honest my walk is probably faster than my jog. And my run, well my run is a sprint at the very end of the line to just look good for the onlookers.

I have never enjoyed running. Well, I like the way I feel after a run, but not enough to make it a habit.

Lately, lately I have been wogging out of revenge. There is a local annual race here. It is a 12K and it is a tradition for me to participate. I can do this in about 1:40. That is one hour and forty minutes. I have friends from work that do it too. It becomes a competition on who can do better. I have never been a competitive person, until now.

I have this one friend, well I should use that word with quotes., “friend” who uses those awful back handed compliments that are really put downs. You know the ones: “oh, that’s an interesting dress”, or “you dyed your hair red, that is an brave idea for you”. You know those kind of compliments. Well, this “friend” of mine has improved her time. I have not. She keeps reminding me about it. With statements like “I am proud of you anyway, no matter what time you finish” “you will be faster next time” and my favorite… “I have no one to run with this year because everyone has to start in the group behind me”. These are all motivation for me. Simply I want revenge. Healthy wogging revenge. So I have started wogging several times a week. Entered many 5K’s to have my speed recorded. I have a goal. A big goal. But mostly a goal for revenge. A goal to make her eat her “encouragements” and pity compliments that she posts on my Facebook page.

In my defense. I am short. 5’0 to be exact. Little legs have smaller strides. And asthma, I have asthma. Those two strikes against me make it hard to compete against someone with long legs, stride and healthy lungs. I will no longer let these be an excuse. Excuses are not as powerful as revenge. Revenge is a great motivator.

This is how I became the revenge wogger.

Come back for updates. A laugh. Maybe an encouragement. Or see how my revenge plot is going.