If the pants fit….

If the pants slide over your thighs there is no room for cries.

Honestly. I dread pants shoping. When I finally break down and go, I buy at least 3 pairs and wear them until you can literally see through the britches.

This is how it goes down. I find the same brand I had 2 years ago. Look for the “approximate” size. Adjust for weight gain and thigh spread. Grab a few different shades of blue. Hop into the dressing room. And cross my fingers that I can get them over my thighs.

If they slide up over the thighs, I do not cry. If I can’t get them up much past my knees… well all bets are off. I cry. Tears of ‘woe is me’.

Yesterday I found two pairs that slide over my thighs. Who cares if they have a ‘stretchyness’ to them. Who cares that they have a ‘secret sliming’ effect. I certainly don’t care. I got two new pairs of jeans.

I can never, ever wash them, but I have two new pairs of jeans. No tears. And a fresh tube of Glide for Her incase I forget and wash them.


powerful thighs. foiled today.



  1. neveradullbling · December 8, 2015

    Haha! Yep, that sounds about right!! That’s how I do it too! Now then, do you remember being in high school and the jeans being so tight you had to lie down and use a pair of pliers to zip them… especially the Rag City Blues? I know you’re a couple of years younger than me, but still… 😀 (btw, I want to know how things went, results, etc.)


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