Recently, actually yesterday, I “outed myself” “confessed” “came clean” “went public” on Facebook about my fight with cancer. When I was diagnosed I only shared with a handful of family and friends asking them to please not share or post about it. After all it is my fight, my story, my journey. Not theirs.
I started this blog to document my revenge wogging progress. It quickly became my safe place to vent about the ups and downs of fighting cancer. After all, only one of my friends follow my blog. Hence a safe place.
There is a passage in the Bible and I can’t locate it at the moment….grrr cancer brain. It involves King David receiving news that his son was killed in battle. A messenger was asked to run and tell David. Another man decided HE had to be the one to report to the king! So he outran the messenger to deliver the bad news first. Why?
Why do we feel that if it is bad news, someone else’s story that we must share it with everyone? We start the statement off with ‘ don’t say anything, but….’ I think women are the worst at this too. We feel that it is okay if preceded with the don’t tell anyone. In reality all we are doing is betraying a confidence so we can deliver bad news first. Someone who thought you were trustworthy will now find out you are not. Do you want to be that person?
Now that I have gone public….online public I have people messaging me saying they knew all along! Someone had already told them.Told them my story. Told them things I wasn’t ready to share yet. All it does is make me sad that someone I trusted shared with people I did not want to know yet. Think about it….. that person may have told 5 others. Now my story, my life, my challenge has less meaning because someone already shared.
It is troubling to me. I do not want to be that friend. Ever. I have learned over the years to not repeat what someone tells me. It just makes sense. It is a confidence that I don’t want to lose.
Okay soap box over!!!! I started a YouTube page. Cancercize with Renee B. I am hoping to work out all through chemotherapy. All the research and doctors tell me it is the best way to beat the fatigue from chemo. I created the page to help others who want to workout during their fight. I have a purpose and a goal of revenge to still complete. Thanks for stopping by.