Turns out Columbo is on at 4 AM
Why do I know this?
I know this because at 3:30 A.M. I was awakened by a nightmare.
I get them often, nightmares that is. Generally I refer to them as night terrors. They are usually of brutal murders and I am being hunted by the murderer because I was a witness. Most cases it is a child or a women who was murdered and I am always a witness and always hunted. I usually wake right before I am found hiding in a closet or a shower by the bad guy. They terrify me. I can’t shake the seriousness of them.
This is why I am so selective of what I watch and read. Many times people laugh at me when I won’t watch something with them because I worry it will trigger the night terrors. They just don’t understand.
Tonights nightmare was different. It had an Alice in Wonderland kind of feel to it. There was only one way to save the day. All of us had to crawl into this very small door and hangout there for an hour with complaining. (I know it is weird, but explaining who ‘we’ is and what led up to this is weirder)
So I watched everyone climb though the door. When I tried to go through head first, I got stuck. My arms pinned to my side and no wiggle room. To top it off the “room” was filled with fine dirt and I couldn’t breathe. I cried out, ‘I can’t, I can’t’. I was stuck, breathing in dirt and was helpless. Needless to say it woke me up at the ungodly hour of 3 A.M. ish.
Many years ago I had a dream I was drowning. It turned out I had pneumonia. All I could think is maybe my lungs are full of something and that is what triggered the stuck, breathing dream. Then again it could just be the chemotherapy drugs playing with my head.
Just one more thing…..
I wanted to have my picture be of nothing but the color black. I suck at figuring out how to get pictures on to my computer or saving them or downloading.
So I have this picture of a sunrise in Tucson, AZ that my cousin sent me last month. I think it is better than the black. It is a reminder to me that the sun will rise and the light will shine and my head will once again be safe and warm.