Today was the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure. It is a 5k qualifying race for Bloomsday. It is what I was training for all those months ago that now feel like years ago. When I signed up for this run in November I was still waiting for my biopsy results. I signed up for the race. The next day the doctor called me at work and informed me I had breast cancer. I think in my heart of hearts I already knew. It didn’t come as real surprise. I did however go home and change my status on the race to ‘Survivor’.
I know I have mentioned that I don’t really feel like a survivor. I feel like I am still in the fighting stage. Survivor is what I am fighting for. This walk today was my way of proving to the cancer that I own it, it does not own me. I was determined to do the walk, all three miles AND finish it!
My friends Marilee and Julie signed up to walk with me. Rest with me if I needed and carry me to the finish line if necessary. I didn’t need to be carried and I didn’t feel the need to rest. I powered through to the end. I crossed that finish line with my timing chip and my floppy pink hat.
This is how my day played out:
Pictures of me and my friends in our shirts that Julie made for us. The front says ‘The Rack Pack’ the back has a big pink ribbon on it. Julie had mine say “FIGHTER” I nearly cried.It was a sign that I was emotionally tied into this race. To me doing this race was my way of giving cancer the middle finger, the slap across its face, the proof that I am stronger than it.
Ran into my friend Kathy and she gave me her last bottle of water. Her kindness and willingness and smile enough to make my eyes start to water again.
I crossed that finish line and was given a ‘survivor’ medal. I cried.
I just proved to myself and my family and friends that I can do this. I am stronger. I am a fighter. I am literally in the middle of my chemotherapy and I just finished a 5K! This is huge, emotional, reassuring, empowering even spiritual.
My husband and son came and cheered us on. Wearing their Baseballism Pink Ribbon Swing shirts that they bought to wear in support of me.
We went to brunch at Casper Fry in the Perry District and laughed and ate and celebrated with mimosa’s. The waitress bought my breakfast. We all cried.
My race was a very emotional race for me. On so many different levels. The finish line has never meant more to me before. Thoughtfulness of friends and my loved ones and strangers has softened this hard hearted person into a pile of tears. Emotionally cleansing tears of satisfaction and humbleness. Pink tears.
This will forever be the best race I have ever done.