Today I went to the gym.
This is not a big thing to most. Today it was the biggest thing for me.
It wasn’t a PR.
It wasn’t heavier weights.
It wasn’t a run.
It was me, on the treadmill having a moment.
Let me back up a bit. I was at the same gym on Monday. Same treadmill. Same goal.
Tonight was different.
I started my treadmill. Set my pace (slow) turned on my tunes and tuned out. I tuned out thoughts of fear, depression, worry. I tuned out the pain of my swollen arm. I tuned out the fact that I wear my survivor/fighter shirts to the gym so others won’t judge me for only being on the treadmill. I tuned out that this is my new ‘normal’. I just tuned out.
With all this tuning out the emotions began turning on.
Fighting back tears. Tears of frustration? Yes. More importantly tears of shear joy that I am capable of going to the gym, getting on a treadmill and mostly that I am moving. Moving my feet in a perfectly timed cadence. Moving forward.Moving my thoughts to emotions of victory. Moving, moving, moving.