Weird and Random Renee Thoughts…

I am absolutely in love with the word ‘foobys’ right now! Get it? Fake Boobs!! Ha isn’t it a wonderful ‘Renee’ word? I used to make words up all the time as a kid. This is right up my alley.

I am in a Facebook group for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 people. Many women on there had the pre-mastectomy/reconstruction done to help lower their risk of breast cancer. They post pictures and updates of recovery and other challenges. One lady posted a picture of her breast tattoos. Yes, tattoos that cover her brand new foobys! I have NEVER been a fan of getting a tattoo (terrified of needles) but hers looks so beautiful and it hides that she no longer has nipples (I only have one left) I showed the picture to my hubby. He always told me that if I ever got a tattoo he would leave me. I used to joke around that I have an out. He  liked the idea and was so impressed. Now it is something I may consider down the road.

I was at a BBQ last weekend  visiting with a friend in her swimsuit and all I could do was stare at her breasts. Not in a creepy way, but in a ‘man I wish I had gone bigger way’. I sometimes regret that I stayed the same size. My plan was to never tell anyone about the cancer and surgery so the more ‘normal’ I looked the better. Of course it is too hard to hide the effects of chemotherapy. So much for keeping it to myself.

I went to the gym a couple of times last week and it felt wonderful to be moving on the treadmill. I wrote about how emotional it was. I have not been back since. Funny how life gets in the way. The ironic thing is I need to workout so I can keep my life. It keeps me moving, keeps my mental state stable and brings the focus back to getting revenge.

Last week I ate vegetarian for every meal during the week. I had real food on the weekend. I didn’t mind it at all and it was pretty simple. I liked trying to find ways to incorporate plant-based proteins into my meals. This week I don’t seem to care so much. I don’t know if it is the heat, or that I am fighting off a cold, or the lack of a good nights rest. I just don’t care and have been eating everything! Revenge on my body is hard!

Just when I think I am in control, I am not. Just when I think I have things/life figured out I am reminded that I don’t. I just have to find my new normal and run with it. Learning to embrace the journey of finding the new normal…..hmm.

 

4 comments

  1. neveradullbling · August 19, 2016

    But if you get a tattoo on your fooby won’t it spring a leak? ;D

    I think you’re sounding pretty normal to me! Think back to last year pre cancer… some days you would _____ (fill in the blank), and some days you wouldn’t (although you were quite regular with your zumba because you taught it, :D).

    And now post cancer, some days you do _____, and some days you don’t. Seeee, totally normal. 😀

    And now lets think about when you were undergoing chemotherapy… how many days in a row did you work out? A pretty freaking impressive amount, that’s how many. That’s not normal, that’s discipline and determination. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ladieswholunchreviews · August 19, 2016

    I have a friend who’s had a double mastectomy and gets nipple tattoos every few years, I think it’s a vegetable dye or something that gets absorbed. We always tease about what color she’s going to pick this time! I’m probably going to be getting a right sided mastectomy, should know soon. See the plastic surgeon for a consult on Monday. Do you carry the BRCA gene? I just had genetic counseling and they are not going to do testing, felt nothing in my history warranted it. I’m glad you’re getting back to your new normal. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s