I am still in recovery. I will be in recovery for technically two more weeks and change. Reality is recovery is an ongoing lifetime thing, without pain meds to take off the ‘edge’. Thank goodness for exercise, alcohol and love. Not neccesarily in that order.
Why is it when you are diagnosed with cancer the most immediate question people ask is ‘what stage?’ I have learned through all of this stages really don’t matter. Cancer is cancer. It will affect you forever. Yes, stage four is scary because there are only four stages. Technology is amazing because stage four is no longer a guaranteed death sentence. So why do I have to be defined by Stage 2 B? Why do I also have to list myself as ‘Survivor’? When I clearly am a fighter, and will be until death do us part.
Today it is not supposed to rain. The husband and I are going to bundle up and go for a walk around the block. I need this. Even if all I do is make it to the porch. Outside air on my face will be huge. A breath of fresh air, literally. New perspective. My breast are wrapped up so tight that my lungs feel squashed. Hoping outside air will help.
I want to eat. Seriously I want to eat everything. Cupcakes sounds so good right now. Fancy cupcakes with pretty sprinkles. I am craving toast smothered in melted butter. Garlic bread with a side of spaghetti heavy on the Italian sausage light on the pasta. Mostly though I am craving tacos. TACOS. Crispy fried corn shells stuffed with shredded beef and lots of cheese. Rolled tortilla tacos with chicken and beef. Bean tostadas with lots of cheese and sauce with a side of crispy beef tacos. Nachos with lots of ground beef and black olives. Tacos.
Hubby is taking a much-needed nap right now. He promised to get me tacos when he wakes up. I have the menu pulled up on an adjacent page so I will be ready to place my order. Giving in to the cravings is a battle I am too tired to fight and can easily blame on the recovery from surgery. Take advantage of it while I can. Soon I will have to workout and eat right again…..
until then I will have my tacos and eat them too.