Today is throwback Thursday on Facebook, I figured I should use a really old picture of my son. This was taken nearly 28 years ago. He was just a wee little thing. Four pounds and four ounces and nearly two months early. Who knew that tiny little boy who relied on me would one day have the tables turned and I would have to rely on him.
He was angry. When I called him and told him I had cancer he was in shock. Or perhaps disbelief or like me ‘dear in the headlights’ lost. When it sunk in he became angry. Not at me directly. He was angry at the cancer. Angry that there should have been something that I could have changed or done in my life that would have prevented it from happening. Angry.
I think Richard and I have a decent mother/son relationship. He genuinely likes me. He likes that I don’t pry into his life. I wait for him to come to me. We have similar tastes in literature, food and movies. Hanging out with him always blesses me.
The day I was released from the hospital he was there with Keith and my sister Windy. Assisting me from one side while Keith had the other. He would come and sit on the bed with me and watch hours of ‘Daria’ and ‘Pysch’ He came and sat with me so Keith could get out of the house. When someone was here to ‘watch’ me he went with Keith to a college basketball team. It was great Keith could get out. It was greater that his son was there to keep him company. Keep him distracted. Keep him encouraged. Keep him comforted.
My son has always been my biggest ally. When I was losing weight he pointed it out. When I would do a funny skit for his school, he wanted to be in it. I made spicy potato soup he bragged to everyone. Always my greatest cheerleader. Having him near me during recovery and chemotherapy meant a lot. To my brain and to my heart. Every minute I get to spend with him reminds me of what love is.
What is love? My son.
PS If this seems rambling I plead doped up on cold meds. I should be sleeping. I think I will go to bed now. Thank God it is almost Saturday.
Also here is a more recent pic of us…