me in a nutshell…. or the nut that is me?

Do you ever go through a time where you just decide to reinvent yourself all at once? That is where I am at. This will be random and ALL over the place… so may want to stop reading right here…

The new me includes: confidence, energy, encouragement, energy, being supportive, being an example, having energy, being contagious, and energy.

I have decided to tackle fitness coaching. I have dreams and desires. I want to work out with chemotherapy and recovering cancer patients. I would love to have my own fitness studio with a ‘clean room’ just for that. Or perhaps a mobile gym to go to them.

I want to read personal development books at a rapid rate so I can glean from them. Reshape myself. Become successful. I have about 10 years of hustle left I think. Unless I start channeling my inner Uncle Thom and then I have 30 years left.

I have become a Beachbody Coach (shameless plug) http://www.beachbodycoach.com/ReneeGaleSurvivor and am starting my first online challenge group tomorrow. I don’t even know if I will be able to complete it but I now have witness’ so I kind of have to!!

I am trying to volunteer more. Trying to be involved more. Trying to be the happy healthy energized person that makes people want to be near me. Makes people forget where I was one year ago.

I went dancing with my friends last night for the first time in almost two years. TWO YEARS!! I was so excited. I dressed up in green. I drank coffee to stay awake longer (I made it to 11)

Today I am sitting here in tears. I hurt all over. There are several explanations for the pain.I am old. I am in surgical menopause. I am on medication that causes bone and joint ache. I am out of shape. The last one is probably the biggest factor…well that and being old. Dancing and staying up late just remind me. I need to get myself in shape.

I am so thankful that my husband gets what I am trying to do. He knows I am trying so hard to prove to everyone that I am okay. He knows I am not always okay. Today he had to hug me a little longer before he left for work.

I am so thankful for my supervisor Janice. Poor thing has to help me muddle through basic tasks some days at work because I just simply forget how to. She also has to listen to me go on and on about the same old cancer/medicine/forgetful crap day in and day out. I am trying to change that too! She is my friend but really doesn’t need to hear about this stuff all the time.

I told you all over the place today. It has been too long. I find my desire to write is gone. Even my desire to read my friends blogs are gone. I am trying to correct this. I love to write. I love to read. I think I just need to write it into my daily schedule.

I forget sometimes that life is about changing and challenges. Adjusting and adapting. Learning and yearning. Sometimes it is about crying for a moment then putting on your running shoes and going for a wog. I forget sometimes that I still want revenge until the friend comes up to you this week and reminds you that she has to run by herself because she is still one color group ahead of you. Then the annoyed anger kicks in and reminds me of why I started here in the first place. Starting from the beginning is almost the same as starting all over. Right? Funning I said starting from the beginning and it totally made me think of the scene from ‘The Princess Bride’ when Indigo is drunk and waiting.

Sheesh ALL OVER THE PLACE… Friends should never let emotional, tired, in pain friends blog!!

Anyway I have no idea if even conveyed what I wanted to say in the first place…. nut job for sure.

3 comments

  1. Mary Mimi Rorie · March 18

    You are not old..I am older than all of you their last night. ( 55) .been in menopause since 29. Cervical cancer…I told u about Scott ….4 stage tongue cancer, slowed us down for about a year. He is 2 years clean now… we love to dance. I try to go as much as possible..( he is super busy in the spring with his business) ) works with farmers)I am a big believer in fitness… but not dieting. I think the exercise for recovering cancer patients is awesome..the YMCA works with LIVESTRONG…maybe you can work with them…. You look beautiful,.. don’t work about “being in shape” just get out there, turn up the music and dance. It’s a cure for many things..nice to meet you..next time we will have more time to chat. Mimi

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Tink the Belle · March 18

    Having a supportive close knit group is the most important part in the healing and recovery journey❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rita Breidenbach · March 18

    Maybe it’s you coming out of a shell. You’re already a lot of the things you describe here. Opening a gym for survivors would be great, I hope you get to do that.

    Liked by 1 person

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