One last milestone today.
I feel like the cancer has taken so much from me. It has taken so much OF me. I am not the same person I was before. Truthfully I will never be that person again. I fight hard against myself. My distracted thoughts. My inner worries of recurrence. My fear of the brokenness that few can understand. The loss of strength and energy and focus.
I did the Every Woman Can run two weeks ago. It is a 5k that replaced the Susan G Komen walk. The SGK closed their affiliate in our city and several women scrambled around at the last minute to put on the event. I am so thankful they did. I needed to walk that 5k for me. For closure. For one more milestone to pass.
Today is Bloomsday. I have done this race for nearly eight years. I was getting stronger, training more and moving forward in rank as the years went on. It is the reason I started this blog the Revenge Wogger. I wanted revenge on a friend who runs it faster and never trains for it. Never! How do people do that? No matter I had started blogging and wogging and improving. Then the cancer came. I did not do Bloomsday last year because I was in the middle of chemotherapy. To many people, to many miles.
Today I am doing this race. I have a friend from work walking with me today. He and I may even jog a little. All I know is I am DOING this today. I may not be able to move for two days or even be awake for the next 24 hours trying to recover, but I AM DOING THIS TODAY!
The fun thing about this run: the shirts! The color is kept a huge secret and you don’t know what it looks like until you cross the finish line. The turn out! 50,000 from across the world. The music! local bands and singers all along the route hoping for your vote.
I am ready for this. At least mentally. This is my one last milestone that the cancer took from me. My one last milestone to getting on with this new life of mine. My second chance at revenge, on me.