I wanted to call this ‘Shift Your Thinking!’ Shift your thinking has been rambling in my head for about a week now. It is concept that I am struggling to grasp. Oh I know so many people who have figured it out and mastered it. I am not one of those enlightened people. Truth is as this point in time I may never grasp it.
Round and round I go in my head. I want more, I need more. Just getting by is enough, just getting by is all I can do.
I went and did Bloomsday 2017. I have the Finisher shirt to prove it. Trouble is I am unhappy with my time. I am unhappy with my lack of training. I am unhappy that I didn’t do better. I am unhappy that I got sunburnt. I just can’t seem to find the joy.
SHIFT YOUR THINKING RENEE!!
YOU DID BLOOMSDAY! You had freaking cancer and did chemo and surgeries and still set your mind to it and did f’n BLOOMSDAY! You finished on your feet jogging the last mile of it! You have run it slower twice before! You have had a long, dark, and cold winter and you got to do Bloomsday in the sun!!!!!!!!
I snapped a picture of me on a walk the other day and sent it to my friend. I said this “when I see this picture all I see is ‘even my boobs look fat’. When I should shift my thinking and say ‘wow, my boobs look huge!'” (it’s funny because my boobs are fake and will always be this size)
Why do I let myself tell myself such awful things? Is it our upbringing that if you say something good about yourself you must be conceited? That if you are not being humble then you are being a bitch? Shift your thinking. You can be humble and lift yourself up. You can see that you are worth the effort without being conceited. You can shift your thoughts to find the positive the productive the purpose. Shift.
I want to do better, yes. Is it wrong that I want to do better? No. Can I be proud of where I am at and what I want to do? Yes. Shift your thinking! Tell yourself you are a finisher. A finisher! Shift.
You learn to build walls to protect yourself from others words, yet we often let our own thoughts break us down swiftly. Shift.
Finisher. Finisher. Finisher. Shift.
In case you were wondering I did the 12k in 1:57 not bad for a newly 48-year-old who has only ever driven an automatic 😉 Shift.