144.4 and more Christmas cookies

I have no idea what I am doing anymore. I am overwhelmed yet I ask for more work. Yes, I just said that. I asked for more work, more responsibilities, more growth, more. Just more. Now I need to find the balance. I will, I know I will.

So I have been dealing with a lot of emotional things these last few weeks. I don’t know how to explain it completely. It had a lot do to do with holidays, and wintertime. Darkening skies, colder temps, doctor appointments and weight gain. I have been wearing those emotions on my sleeve and others started taking notice. They have been worried about me. Today I decided to hide my emotions and bring back ‘happy , bouncy fun ball’ Renee. Turns out when I hide my emotions I feed them instead. That is what happened today. I fed ALL my emotions today. I think this is NOT called balance.

Here is how my food day played out:

Breakfast: coffee and creamer. Chocolate super foods shake with dark cherries and spinach.

Get to work and brew more coffee: two cups and creamer.  Emotions are ready to be fed. I opt for a bag of single serving Funyuns.

Lunch came at about 2PM today for me. I was so thankful for my left over tacos from last night because all I could think about is hamburgers. I wanted a cheeseburger so bad. The two tacos were ground turkey, cheese and salsa. Had Kale salad with lemon dressing and parmesan cheese. So far so good…..

Then Manpower brought over Christmas cookies. I ate 4 and one-quarter. The one-quarter is because I bit into one and it was awful so I threw the rest of it away. I guess that is a victory, right?

Anyway I did my yoga Flow workout this morning.

125 ounces of water for the day.

How did you do?

146….

Work from your heart.

That is a phrase that has been playing in my head for the last few days. Trouble is, I don’t really know where my heart is right now. Hard to work from somewhere when you don’t know where you are.

I chalk it up to wintertime, depression and my upcoming doctor appointments. I want a good weigh in for my appointment yet I keep eating the carbs. I know this won’t work yet I keep sabotaging myself. I wanted the scale to be down by five pounds more than the number above but it won’t happen.

Water: 125 ounces

Workout: Yoga balance. Move of the day.

Breakfast: coffee and creamer, two cups (one was decaf)  Super foods shake chocolate, spinach and blueberries

Work: two cups of coffee with creamer

Lunch: tuna salad with celery and cauliflower. One slice of Daves Killer Bread. Half of a yellow bell pepper and 1 ounce of Cheez-its.

More coffee, decaf this time. Yes, there was creamer.

Dinner tonight was tacos. Yes the ones pictured above. I don’t know what it is about homemade tacos but I have to eat them ALL! I had four tacos tonight. I used ground turkey cooked in canola oil. Shredded cheese and salsa to top it off. Had a hard cider. It is the one listed above, it is made in Portland OR which is close to home so I had to try it. It is a true semi sweet. Not to bad.

I dove back into the left over ginger cookies. I had six of them. I think I will take the rest to work with me so I don’t eat them.

How did you do?

 

Pizza crusts counts…

Woke up this morning a bit depressed. Still processing information from yesterday that has me doubting everything. I feel uneasy about things. Not sure what is going to happen always leaves me uneasy and when I am uneasy about things it leads to depression. When I am feeling the depression coming on I feed it food. Lot’s of food, mostly carbs and very little veggies.

Here is how my day played out (food wise)

Woke up had coffee and creamer, two cups. Also had a cup of hot cocoa.  Made breakfast for hubby and I. Six slices of turkey bacon (hubby didn’t want to eat his so I had to help him out) two slices of toast with spreadable butter, two scrambled eggs with cheese. The eggs were cooked in olive oil.

Lunch was the rest of the salad from last night with the balsamic dressing. Had a slice of pizza. The hubby had two slices then gave me his crusts. He is very giving that hubby of mine. I have to count the pizza crusts I eat too, right?

Met up with a friend today around 2PM at a coffee shop. Had a 20 ounce double shot dirty chai latte.

Dinner tonight was one of those roasted chickens from the store. I ate ALL the crispy skin while I was making dinner. I made chicken fettuccine alfredo. I used large egg noodles instead of fettuccine noodles. The sauce was made with milk, mozzarella and parmesan cheese. The secret ingredient was cauliflower. So I guess I did have two servings today after all.

Water is at 125 ounces.

Did expansion core yoga today. Makes me feel a little better.

How did you do?

Salmon burgers…….

I didn’t sleep at all last night. Seriously, I didn’t. I have no idea how I was able to make it through work. I was numb in the mind and emotions (until the end of the day when I lost it) I am happy that even though I didn’t sleep I still got up and worked out with a friend. I promised I would and I showed up and that is what matters. I will tell you that I have no idea how in the heck I am still awake right now.!! I should be passed out, I feel very wide awake still. This is how it started last night. Ugh. Hope it is not another toss and turning with my brain not shutting off night..

Anyway here is how the food played out today. I have excuses but I am not going to use them. Here it is:

 

Breakfast was coffee with creamer, one cup. Super foods shake Cafe Latte flavor with spinach, almond butter and blueberries.

Get to work and have two cups of coffee with creamer and three Christmas cookies that a co-worker brought in today. Ugh. Tis’ the season.

Lunch was 1/2 cup of tuna salad with the cauliflower puree and celery. One slice of FFC bread. One cup of kale salad with parmesan cheese and croutons. Also had diluted lemon  dressing. I wanted more food so I bought a bag of Tostitos corn tortilla chips (two servings in one bag) and a cup of Tostitos nacho cheese cup.

Dinner was TWO Angry Orchard Knotty Pear Hard Cider. One cup of frozen green beans, one tablespoonful of garlic aioli and the salmon burger pictured above. The salmon burger has carrot puree in it too.  I was determined to FINALLY make this recipe forgetting that it called for putting the patties in the fridge for one hour first. Yikes! Who has time for that? So I popped them in the freezer and took a shower (I feel better after that) while they set. Hubby and I really enjoyed these! He had his on a bun. I saved one for me to have for lunch tomorrow. I will be making these again and again! So good.

I am only at about 125 ounces of water today. I did do my Yoga Flow on the Go workout this morning and that makes five days in a row. I am excited that I am developing consistency.

So, how did you do today?

I have set a goal…

I weighed in today and it was better than the last few days. I have a goal for the end of December. It is to be 141.1 pounds. Why the .1? well it means if I only get to 141.8 it will be closer or some other weird logic like that. It just looks better on paper that way. More realistic I guess.

I tried to keep a tally today on my servings of veggies. The trouble with that is two of my foods today had veggies hidden in them but I am not 100% sure if it counts as a “serving”.

Any way here is the rundown of food today:

Breakfast: Coffee and maple flavored almond milk creamer, two servings. Super foods shake cafe latte with blueberries and spinach. Added almond butter and turmeric this time too.

Get to work and have a  decaf coffee with the same creamer as above. Then I ended up brewing two more cups by noon.

Lunch: tuna salad (made with cauliflower puree and chunks of celery) One slice of Daves Killer bread (totally fits into the FFC department, fiber filled carb) cucumber slices. I had more tuna than bread so I went to the vending machine and bought a serving of whole grain Cheez-its. It also fit the FFC guidelines. 130 calories, 19 grams of carbs, 2 grams of fiber. Tasted great and I really enjoyed eating them.

Dinner was an Angry Orchard Knotty Pear Cider, the leftover burger patty from last night (it has carrot puree in it) two slices of cheddar cheese and half of a bell pepper. Hubby also made me try the new flavor of Poppable chips he had bought. I had two of them, white cheddar flavor. They were pretty good but I liked the original ones better.

If you were keeping tally of my veggies today I counted them as four; Spinach, Cucumbers, bell pepper and then for each serving of protein that had veggies hidden in them I counted as one more serving. I think that is fair, right?

I have 125 ounces of water in me so far and am half way through another 25 ounces.

I did my workout this morning: Yoga Flow. I really enjoyed it. Looking forward to the Flow on the Go tomorrow with friends.

Do you have an end of the year goal you are trying to reach? How close are you? How did you do with your tracking today?

Thursday……

I am sore from yesterdays workout. That makes me happy but when I smile about that it hurts!! Ha ha! True story. I am also happy that it is Friday eve. So ready for this work week to be over.

This is how my food played out today:

Breakfast was three cups of coffee with creamer (um one was decaf) My yummy super foods shake today (pictured above) was cafe latte with spinach, blueberries, and almond butter.

One of my friends/coworkers was celebrating a birthday today so I stopped at the coffee shop to pick up a cake pop and a mocha maple spice, yes I picked one up for me too. The coffee not the cake.

Lunch was a can of tuna with a spoonful of mayo, dill pickles and black olives. One slice of fcc toast (that means fiber filled carb) Half of a red bell pepper and 20 salted cashews.

Dinner tonight was a cheese stick and a  carrot. I know so exciting! I was tired after yet another long day at work so I didn’t want to make anything. I did have enough energy to peel and slice the carrot but, yeah that is about it for me tonight.

I did do a yoga workout this morning, even though I am sore from yesterday. Today’s was a stretch and release workout. I think I really needed it!

I am currently at 125 ounces of water and working on another cup.

How did you do?

shhh….there’s veggies in there….

Seriously, there are veggies in the dinner tonight. Okay I know in my picture above it is obvious there are veggies in my dinner, but in my hubby’s dinner it was rice and chicken. I added cauliflower puree to the sauce the chicken was cooked in! He liked the taste of it too! One more day of adding something nutritious to his food. One day closer to bringing him over to my side…..bwahahahahahahaha…..

Had breakfast with one of very good friends today. We get to see each other a couple times a year, mostly from scheduling. Anyway we went to a very local yet beloved place today called Kalico Kitchen. I love our face to face visit and covet the time with her. It is a very blessed way to start a Sunday off.  Anyhoo, this is how my food day played out:

Coffee with creamer two cups. Headed out to breakfast had three more cups of coffee with half and half and sugar. Three cups. Ordered the egg tacos. These are very good. It was two fried corn tortillas stuffed with scrambled eggs, cheese and bacon. I added salsa to them too.

I ran to the grocery store after our breakfast, tried to do my shopping without a plan. Ha! that is never a good idea! Forgot stuff and bought things I didn’t need. #bigsigh

Got home and helped myself to three pieces of the Girl Scout Almond Butter cups along with half of a bell pepper and half of a peeled slice cucumber. Guess I will call that lunch today.

Made dinner tonight, pictured above. It is one of the recipes from the Jessica Seinfeld cookbooks. It was called creamy chicken. I served mine over veggies in an effort to get back to protein/veggies for dinner. It was pretty tasty. I made rice for the hubby. I had enough leftover rice and chicken that it will be my lunch tomorrow with more of the roasted veggies. I like having lunch packed and ready the day before. Gives me more time in the morning.

I did decide to have ‘dessert’ tonight. Made myself a super foods shake. I had vanilla shake with turmeric and cinnamon. I added ice cubes to make it more shake like. It was a nice dessert! Adding the turmeric made it like golden milk that I used to make when going through chemotherapy.

I actually did a workout today!?!?!? A full thirty minute workout that is! Yoga all over body workout.

Had 160 ounces of water today too. I am feeling pretty good about myself about now. It isn’t perfect (neither am I) but it is better than I have been doing. I am CHOOSING to make better choices from here on out. Especially after the hubby informed me that he has noticed attitude changes in me but not more than ten pound physical changes in me. #saddays My end goal is to make him proud of me and this means I am not near my goal yet. I must work harder.

Well that is how I tracked today.

How did you do?

Coffee and creamer…

Weighed myself this morning and I was disappointed.  I had started going down on the scale and then just like that I bounce back up. I know that tracking all my food is what is going to help me figure out where I am making my consistent errors at. I know that my MOST consistent thing everyday is my coffee with creamer. I drink almond milk based creamer but it still adds calories. I am not ready to give up my coffee and creamer so this weight loss journey could take a really long time.

Alright, with that said here is my rundown of food today:

Breakfast coffee and creamer three cups. Chocolate vegan super foods shake with spinach and blueberries.

Get to work and have another cup of coffee with creamer. (oh boy, don’t judge)

Lunch was 1/2 of an apple, one boneless chicken thing cooked in olive oil. Salad with mushrooms and pear vinaigrette.

Had a cup of decaf with, used guessed it creamer.

Dinner tonight was meatloaf. I made tureky meatloaf that is laced with veggies (carrots and cauliflower) and half a plate of roasted mixed veggies, that I made yesterday! It is brocoli, onions and different color of bell peppers. Very good. I roasted them in olive oil and a little salt and pepper. I had garlic aioli with the meat loaf. For dessert I had a cup of hot chocolate with milk.

No workout today. I had 135 ouncs of water. Outside of all the creamer I think I did pretty good.

How did you do today?

Veggie free..

So pretty much this has been a veggie free weekend! Not by choice, well I guess by choice. I just wasn’t choosing what I should have been.

My hubby has decided that he wants to be on the Renee train and is all in for joining me in the journey for health and fitness. He absolutely  detests veggies. Years ago he found out that Jerry Seinfeld’s wife Jessica had written a cookbook for foods kids like that all have veggies hidden in them. He wanted me to cook from it for him but not tell him what I used in it. We decided that to get him into liking veggies we would start off slow and go back to cooking from that book. What was really exciting to me was he spent the whole day prepping, chopping, steaming and measuring out the veggie purees to pop in the freezer for our meals!! This is a HIUGE deal to me. He must really love me. It was a wonderful day of us just working together in the kitchen. Chatting and laughing and catching up on our week at work and planning out our budget for the year to come. It was wonderful. Funny side note: we were prepping veggies all morning that when lunch time rolled around we ordered take out, pizza.

Butternut squash (from my garden) spaghetti squash, cauliflower, carrots, sweet potatoes. That is what we pureed today. I made a turkey meatloaf using the carrots and cauliflower for dinner this week.

This is how my food played out:

Breakfast was three cups of coffee with creamer. One cup of hot chocolate. I made poached eggs for the first time ever and served them over a piece of toast with pancetta. Yum!

Lunch was two slices of ‘white pizza’ it is ricotta and mozzarella. I had sausage and mushrooms on mine.

Dinner for me was a vegan chocolate superfoods shake with 1 cup of fresh spinach. I had to sneak a serving of veggies in there somewhere!

 

All in all I had a lovely day! Enjoyed my hubby’s company while prepping for our health and dinners for the week. I am  tired and need to shower but I am very happy.

145 ounces of water today.

How did you do?

Wednesday woes……

I don’t know why I wrote woes on here. It really isn’t a tale of woe. It is just a tale of what I ate today..ha ha

As always I started my day with coffee and creamer. Then made an espresso with almond milk and creamer mixed. My shake today was chocolate with dark cherries and spinach. Tasty!

Got to work and brewed a cup of coffee with some coconut milk creamer. Ended up having two of those. Then my coworker gave a Halloween cupcake. Red velvet with cream cheese frosting, my favorite! That of course made me want another cup of coffee. So I did  a cup of half caf. and 1/2 and 1/2.

Lunch was the Fontera taco bowl pictured above. Yesterday when I was heading home I texted the hubby to see if he needed anything. He has had a sore throat and not feeling well. He said ‘gelato’. So off to the store I go, tired and hungry. A very bad combination to go to the store on. I get there and start thinking ‘hey it is Taco Tuesday I should buy some of that pre-seasoned turkey meat for tacos tonight’. They were out. So I started looking for something else taco-ish to eat or make quickly. No luck. As I was heading to the frozen food section I decided that I needed some creamer (I didn’t) Then I saw that the taco bowls were ‘on sale’ I use that term loosely. I love the salsa and even the premixed sauces so I thought how bad could it be? Answer is, pretty bad. Definitely doesn’t look like the picture on the box. Kind of bland. Glad I had my roasted broccoli to add to it. That made it better.

Snack today was one hard boiled egg, two sticks of celery and four mini bell peppers.

Started my dinner with dessert. Came home and dug into the trick or treat candy bowl. Had two sour twirler sticks. Then helped myself to a bottle of Angry Orchard Knotted Pear while cooking dinner. I had spaghetti squash with homemade sauce and an Italian sausage. Turned out pretty good. So that tracks as two servings of veggies and a protein!! Yay me!

Water was good today. 170 ounces. I did not workout and that makes me sad. I will tomorrow. I don’t want to lose that habit.

Have you tried the Fontera Taco Bowls?

How did you do?