That is a phrase that has been playing in my head for the last few days. Trouble is, I don’t really know where my heart is right now. Hard to work from somewhere when you don’t know where you are.
I chalk it up to wintertime, depression and my upcoming doctor appointments. I want a good weigh in for my appointment yet I keep eating the carbs. I know this won’t work yet I keep sabotaging myself. I wanted the scale to be down by five pounds more than the number above but it won’t happen.
Water: 125 ounces
Workout: Yoga balance. Move of the day.
Breakfast: coffee and creamer, two cups (one was decaf) Super foods shake chocolate, spinach and blueberries
Work: two cups of coffee with creamer
Lunch: tuna salad with celery and cauliflower. One slice of Daves Killer Bread. Half of a yellow bell pepper and 1 ounce of Cheez-its.
More coffee, decaf this time. Yes, there was creamer.
Dinner tonight was tacos. Yes the ones pictured above. I don’t know what it is about homemade tacos but I have to eat them ALL! I had four tacos tonight. I used ground turkey cooked in canola oil. Shredded cheese and salsa to top it off. Had a hard cider. It is the one listed above, it is made in Portland OR which is close to home so I had to try it. It is a true semi sweet. Not to bad.
I dove back into the left over ginger cookies. I had six of them. I think I will take the rest to work with me so I don’t eat them.
I didn’t sleep at all last night. Seriously, I didn’t. I have no idea how I was able to make it through work. I was numb in the mind and emotions (until the end of the day when I lost it) I am happy that even though I didn’t sleep I still got up and worked out with a friend. I promised I would and I showed up and that is what matters. I will tell you that I have no idea how in the heck I am still awake right now.!! I should be passed out, I feel very wide awake still. This is how it started last night. Ugh. Hope it is not another toss and turning with my brain not shutting off night..
Anyway here is how the food played out today. I have excuses but I am not going to use them. Here it is:
Breakfast was coffee with creamer, one cup. Super foods shake Cafe Latte flavor with spinach, almond butter and blueberries.
Get to work and have two cups of coffee with creamer and three Christmas cookies that a co-worker brought in today. Ugh. Tis’ the season.
Lunch was 1/2 cup of tuna salad with the cauliflower puree and celery. One slice of FFC bread. One cup of kale salad with parmesan cheese and croutons. Also had diluted lemon dressing. I wanted more food so I bought a bag of Tostitos corn tortilla chips (two servings in one bag) and a cup of Tostitos nacho cheese cup.
Dinner was TWO Angry Orchard Knotty Pear Hard Cider. One cup of frozen green beans, one tablespoonful of garlic aioli and the salmon burger pictured above. The salmon burger has carrot puree in it too. I was determined to FINALLY make this recipe forgetting that it called for putting the patties in the fridge for one hour first. Yikes! Who has time for that? So I popped them in the freezer and took a shower (I feel better after that) while they set. Hubby and I really enjoyed these! He had his on a bun. I saved one for me to have for lunch tomorrow. I will be making these again and again! So good.
I am only at about 125 ounces of water today. I did do my Yoga Flow on the Go workout this morning and that makes five days in a row. I am excited that I am developing consistency.
I have no idea where this day went. Seriously I arrived at work at 8 like usual, next thing I know it is 12:30…12:30! Had to leave work for a pizza run for a good-bye party for one of my co-workers. There was snow and rain and running around town. When I get back it was 2:30PM. I walk in the door and am immediately pulled back out again for more meetings. I feel like I was never even there. Really weird day. And now it is the end of November…so crazy.
I woke up this morning and weighed in. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t good. What I am disappointed about is it is higher than last month. All I could ask myself is ‘Now What’? BUT Oct. started at 147. Nov. started at 143. It is ending at 145. I am not happy with it yet it is still better than when I started in Oct. I have to keep reminding myself of this: I am still working on this and that I still have gains (technically losses). One day at a time…. here is how my food played out today:
Breakfast: Coffee and creamer two cups. Super foods shake today was cafe latte, spinach and banana.
Stopped off for a Starbucks Caramel Creme Brûlée grande size. My excuse for Starbucks today was to get Tyler a goodbye coffee and a gift card. Yeah, I may have a problem…hmm.
Lunch happened about 2:45 PM when I grabbed a slice of pizza from the party and snagged a few bites before hitting the meeting. Came down scarfed it down and went in search to see if there was any left. There was, so I scarfed that one down too.
Finally get home from work and I am not sure what to make for dinner. We settled on breakfast. I made the hubby three scrambled eggs with cheese and two slices of toast. The toast smelled so good. I really wanted some. I talked myself out of it. I am pretty darn proud of that. I had two scrambled eggs with a bit of cheese and cup of spinach. I added salsa to it and then had a couple of slice of turkey bacon (pictured above). Lots of protein and some veggies. It was very good.
All in all I feel pretty good about today even with the pizza. I made sure to have my next meal be better instead of giving into other craving.
Water was okay today, 150 ounces.
No work out today. Just happy to be home in my warm bed watching Accidentally on Purpose crying and laughing. I am okay with this.
I am sore from yesterdays workout. That makes me happy but when I smile about that it hurts!! Ha ha! True story. I am also happy that it is Friday eve. So ready for this work week to be over.
This is how my food played out today:
Breakfast was three cups of coffee with creamer (um one was decaf) My yummy super foods shake today (pictured above) was cafe latte with spinach, blueberries, and almond butter.
One of my friends/coworkers was celebrating a birthday today so I stopped at the coffee shop to pick up a cake pop and a mocha maple spice, yes I picked one up for me too. The coffee not the cake.
Lunch was a can of tuna with a spoonful of mayo, dill pickles and black olives. One slice of fcc toast (that means fiber filled carb) Half of a red bell pepper and 20 salted cashews.
Dinner tonight was a cheese stick and a carrot. I know so exciting! I was tired after yet another long day at work so I didn’t want to make anything. I did have enough energy to peel and slice the carrot but, yeah that is about it for me tonight.
I did do a yoga workout this morning, even though I am sore from yesterday. Today’s was a stretch and release workout. I think I really needed it!
I am currently at 125 ounces of water and working on another cup.
the plan was to make better choices. I follow a very simple guideline for food. Breakfast is a protein and carb (a veggie earns extra credit) Lunch is a protein, carb and veggie. If you need a snack it should be a protein and carb and only after lunch . Dinner should be veggies and protein, with the veggies being about 75% of the meal. I struggle with this. Mostly because I love carbs…today was no different. This time my carbs was a glass of champagne. I am not stressed about it. I liked it and it was nice to sit down to dinner tonight with it.
Sometimes I let all the guilt get to me about my food. I hang with people who are super healthy and fit, then I feel bad because I am not there yet. I let the guilt of my upcoming doctor appointments in December (three of them) make me feel bad that I am not down those extra six pounds I wanted from the last appointment. Unfortunately the doctors scale is always five pounds more than mine. The nurses there are not very kind about your weight and when it doesn’t budge they seem to judge you. Funny how an oncologist office can make you feel bad about you weight.
The other day my husband told me that he has seen a change in my attitude. Not in my weight, even though I am down twelve pounds from last year, guess you can’t see it. Makes me mad. Not mad enough to stick to my basic plan and that actually makes me angrier.
It truly is about making better choices on a consistent basis. Guess I am not there yet, I just have to keep trying.
Here is how my food played out today:
Breakfast two cups of coffee and creamer. Cafe Latte super foods shake with blueberries and spinach.
Work: coffee with creamer, two cups. 3 Triscuit crackers with a tablespoonful of a homemade cheese ball. (port cheese, cheddar and cream cheese) Very good.
Lunch: cottage cheese, three slices of bacon (thank you Scott Woods!) half of a honey crisp apple, spinach salad with garbanzo beans and black olives. Tossed it with balsamic vinaigrette.
Dinner tonight is pictured above: Steamed Brussel sprouts and a hamburger patty followed by the last of the champagne.
My headache is finally starting to disappear so that is a good thing.
Worked out this morning Yoga abs and ten minutes of meditation.
I still have the headache. Officially 24 hours now. Went to Walgreen’s after work and got the real Sudafed from behind the counter. Hopefully it will release the pressure and i can sleep tonight.
I went to bed early last night hoping to sleep it off. Instead I was awakened by it at 2AM. Took some meds then turned on Bob Ross. His voice soothed me enough that I fell asleep, about an hour later. Makes for a very long Tuesday.
Lack of sleep, a raging headache makes it hard for me to stay on track. This is how it played out today:
Coffee with creamer, two cups. You know, coffee because your head still hurts so bad at 2Am so you take more meds and watch Bob Ross to soothe you back to sleep then hit your snooze button eight times this morning coffee. Had a shake. Chocolate with dark cherries and 1 cup of spinach. Hubby had a full shake today. He was pleasantly surprised at how full it kept him. He had to remind himself to eat lunch!
Get to work and make more coffee, two cups regular one cup decaf all with creamer. Snacked on some cashews about 25 pieces.
Lunch was out of the vending machine, I did eat the half bell pepper that brought with me but I wanted the breakfast platter out of the machine. It had a biscuit with sausage gravy, scrambled eggs with cheese served over a hash brown patty and two sausage links. When I was done I went back for a small bag of Funyuns. What is wrong with me?
Got home about a very long eleven and half hour shift at work and a run to the drugstore. Decided I should eat something so I could take some ibuprofen. Settled on three corn tortillas with cheese.
Water is at 150 ounces but I am getting ready to refill my cup again.
No workout today, I should have done some yoga it may have helped. I will tomorrow, no excuses.
Seriously, there are veggies in the dinner tonight. Okay I know in my picture above it is obvious there are veggies in my dinner, but in my hubby’s dinner it was rice and chicken. I added cauliflower puree to the sauce the chicken was cooked in! He liked the taste of it too! One more day of adding something nutritious to his food. One day closer to bringing him over to my side…..bwahahahahahahaha…..
Had breakfast with one of very good friends today. We get to see each other a couple times a year, mostly from scheduling. Anyway we went to a very local yet beloved place today called Kalico Kitchen. I love our face to face visit and covet the time with her. It is a very blessed way to start a Sunday off. Anyhoo, this is how my food day played out:
Coffee with creamer two cups. Headed out to breakfast had three more cups of coffee with half and half and sugar. Three cups. Ordered the egg tacos. These are very good. It was two fried corn tortillas stuffed with scrambled eggs, cheese and bacon. I added salsa to them too.
I ran to the grocery store after our breakfast, tried to do my shopping without a plan. Ha! that is never a good idea! Forgot stuff and bought things I didn’t need. #bigsigh
Got home and helped myself to three pieces of the Girl Scout Almond Butter cups along with half of a bell pepper and half of a peeled slice cucumber. Guess I will call that lunch today.
Made dinner tonight, pictured above. It is one of the recipes from the Jessica Seinfeld cookbooks. It was called creamy chicken. I served mine over veggies in an effort to get back to protein/veggies for dinner. It was pretty tasty. I made rice for the hubby. I had enough leftover rice and chicken that it will be my lunch tomorrow with more of the roasted veggies. I like having lunch packed and ready the day before. Gives me more time in the morning.
I did decide to have ‘dessert’ tonight. Made myself a super foods shake. I had vanilla shake with turmeric and cinnamon. I added ice cubes to make it more shake like. It was a nice dessert! Adding the turmeric made it like golden milk that I used to make when going through chemotherapy.
I actually did a workout today!?!?!? A full thirty minute workout that is! Yoga all over body workout.
Had 160 ounces of water today too. I am feeling pretty good about myself about now. It isn’t perfect (neither am I) but it is better than I have been doing. I am CHOOSING to make better choices from here on out. Especially after the hubby informed me that he has noticed attitude changes in me but not more than ten pound physical changes in me. #saddays My end goal is to make him proud of me and this means I am not near my goal yet. I must work harder.
We went for a drive today. It took us over the passes. There was snow and fog the passes. I tried to snap a decent picture while we were driving. This is the best I could get. Having the snow on the trees made me want to listen to Christmas music. It was a nice drive. Because we were traveling we ate out twice today so my food may look a little questionable. I did make sure to drink plenty of water though.
Had two cups of coffee and creamer at home. Then we headed over to Clark’s Fork for breakfast. I had the “Trapper Wrap” it was filled with egg, potato, sausage gravy, and bacon. I ate half, gave a quarter to the hubby and picked the bacon out of the remains quarter. Had a 12 ounce white mocha too.
On the way back from our destination we stopped in St. Regis for snacks. I had a bottle of water and the hubby found a snack size bag of cheese gouda crackers. We split the bag, they were pretty tasty. You could totally taste the smoky gouda.
We stopped in Coeur d’Alene for a late lunch at our favorite grilled cheese restaurant, Meltz. We decided to split a ‘Gobbler’ This sandwich is amazing! Turkey, stuffing, gravy, sweet potatoes and cranberry aioli. This is my hubby’s favorite sandwich they have and it only comes out during the holidays. I hadn’t had it before. It really is very good. I had a cup of tomato bisque soup with chunks of parmesan in it. Sometimes I actually CRAVE this soup. We also had some of their homemade potato chips.
When I go home I ate three of the Girl Scout almond butter chocolates. Not a lot veggies today that is for sure. Tomorrow will be better. I HAVE to do better the next week. Doctor appointments coming up. Oncologist, DECA and yearly breast exams. Yes, I had mastectomy, no that doesn’t mean I can’t get breast cancer again. Yes, that means I have to still get checked out. Bleh.
One of the best things you can do if you are trying to lose weight is to drink water. Lots of water. If you over indulged for Thanksgiving (if you didn’t I don’t want to hear about it) the best thing to do the following day is drink MORE water. So to live up to that (the one thing I do right, health wise) I drank ALL THE WATER!!! 200 ounces to be exact. AS you can see in my selfie my eyes are swimming!! What is your trick to deal with the holiday buffet bloat?
I worked today. I actually like working the day after Thanksgiving. Traffic is reasonable, everyone at work is still in festive holiday happy mood, there are no phones ringing or drivers screaming.
Anyway this is how my day played out. I was doing well until I got home then it all fell apart. Bleh.
Breakfast: coffee with creamer, two cups cafe latte superfoods shake with spinach and blueberries.
On the way to work I stopped by and got a Maple Spice latte 16 ounce hot. (Still my favorite)
Lunch was half an apple. One slice of pineapple (came with the ham) one thin slice of spiral ham (thanks Scott) a few bites of spinach with dressing. Half of a bell pepper and half of a peeled cucumber. See I told you I was doing well.
Had a snack today, thirty sea salted cashews. Cup of decaf with more creamer.
Got home and it ALL fell apart…… walked in the door and ate ten yes TEN chocolate chip cookies!!! Yikes! Asked hubby if he was hungry. He said yes. I told him I was going to only have the cookies. He made ravioli with pesto sauce, it smelled good so he fixed me a bowl too. I had about ten ravioli. Now I am feeling awful and bloated all over again. So more water it is I guess.
… My husband was worried that he missed the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special the other day. He kept asking me if we had missed it. He was so happy to find out it was on tonight. I got home after work AND running to the store the night before Thanksgiving (crazy like that) Hubby said that no matter what he was watching Charlie Brown tonight and I was welcome to join him. So I did.
When I was listening to Darren Hardy today for my PD he shared something that stuck with me today: When in doubt choose the harder task. The one you don’t want to do is usually the one you SHOULD do. So much truth to that!! If I want a trimmer waist line then I MUST do the hard things. Like NOT going to the coffee shop for the special today. Which by the way was hard for me. It is maple spice latte, my favorite and I wanted one so bad……talked myself out of it. I will admit it took a lot of talking but I did talk myself out of it.
Anyway, here is the breakdown of food today:
Breakfast: Coffee with creamer, two cups. Today’s super foods shake was vanilla with spinach, mango almond butter and a splash of turmeric.
Got to work, SKIPPING the coffee shop mind you, and had four cups of coffee with the amazing maple almond milk creamer that I am now officially addicted to.
Long day at my desk waiting for FedEx to call me back, they didn’t so I snacked on some of the Girl Scout sea salted Cashews that I had just bought from one of my staff, you know to support their kid… (sheesh I am a sucker) had 1/2 cup of cashews.
Eventually I went to lunch about 2:30 because my team made me go. I wasn’t really hungry and I wasn’t super excited about my lunch either. I ate some of it; half an apple, 2 cups of spinach with pumpkin seeds and more of that dijon dressing.
After my “quick run” to the grocery store I settled into home for my dinner. Hubby made himself a couple of cheese crisps, I had veggies and an Italian sausage with one cup of the roasted veggies (they are so good still) and Wicked Green Apple cider the whole bottle.
Watched Charlie Brown Thanksgiving with the hubby and am currently cuddled up in a warm bed watching Monk on Amazon Prime. I am very happy in my little world right now.