Last night I slept without a bra on….

I know this may not seem like much to you. In fact I would venture to guess the majority of people sleep without bras on. I used to be one of those people.

When I had the double mastectomy with reconstruction I came home from the hospital wearing a velcro wrap. It was tight and uncomfortable. It was necessary to wear to keep the swelling down and to make sure my new foobs stayed in place and would look symmetrical. Eventually I was allowed to exchange the wrap for a sports bra. I had to wear the sports bra all the time, including at night.

As time went on and the expanders were filled to the capacity I wanted, I was able to wear my ‘pretty bras’ again during the day. At night the expanders were so uncomfortable and unmovable that I would wear the sports bra or the surgery bra to bed to be a buffer. Laying on my side was tricky and the support of a bra helped.

Because of chemotherapy the exchange surgery had to be postponed for months. MONTHS! I had to wear the hard and awkward expanders for ten months. That meant continuing to sleep in a bra or some sort of supportive garment.

Last night I felt confident enough to sleep without a bra on. I slept on my side, on my back and on the other side. It felt wonderful and honestly I almost felt normal. NORMAL!?!?!?!?! Is that such a thing? I can’t even recall feeling normal, except for those rare occasional moments that last for just a minute or two.

I have a followup appointment this coming week with the plastic surgeon. I think everything looks great, as great as it is can get considering. I am looking forward to her telling me that. And that I will be able to jog again. And that I can wear my pretty bras that I just bought from an online company that specializes in bras for mastectomy and reconstruction patients. They are expensive but very pretty. I want to be as normal as possible, I think the new bras will help. So will the jogging. So will the ‘all is clear and good’ from the doctor.

No bra at night, pretty bras during the day. Who knows, next I might wear jeans again.

 

Recovery

It has been an interesting few days.

Thursday was the oophorectomy. It was such a long day. Recovering from the anesthesia was not easy. I always struggle with it. Checked into the hospital at 11AM left about 6PM. That is a long time for surgeries that only took a total of an hour and half. I have not heard anything from anyone about the ovaries so I can only assume that they looked good and no more cancer. I accept that theory.

Friday was a day of rest and pacing up and down the hallway in the apartment. Watched movies with my son so the hubby could go to the ballgame.

Saturday. SATURDAY I got to met Paula from Never A Dull Bling and her hubby James from www.50in50marathonquest.com. This was the best day ever!  Okay so my belly is sore and swollen but I wasn’t going to let a chance to finally meet a fellow blogger/friend in person. We met up at a local Starbucks for a quick hug and some pictures. They were on their way to Missoula for another run. I was so thankful that Keith drove me down to meet them. Our next visit will have to be longer. I sure did enjoy it. 13639580_10208514853260827_1265141630_o13662621_10208514853980845_310345588_o

Paula is the one who sent me Bear. The softest, sweetest stuffed bear to accompany me to chemotherapy. She had never actually had a chance to meet Bear so it was fun for all of us. Our visit was brief but perfect. She is just as lovely in real life as she is in the cyber world. James too. What a great moment in my life.
The rest of Saturday I had to recuperate from the visit. It took a lot out of me. So I watched Star Wars in order. Almost made it through all of them in one day!
Sunday. This was another day of rest for me. I watched t.v. all day and slept off and on. Keith and I got out and walked around the block once. Walking feels good, much better than the standing up and sitting down.
Which brings me to Monday. Normally I would be up and going to work. Today I am sitting, writing and planning easy stuff to do. Like shower. I need to shower, and eat. I think Keith and I are going to go for two laps around the block tonight when he gets home from work. I don’t really know what to do with myself other than read, write, nap, watch t.v. Having limitations is hard. Knowing that they are just temporary helps.
So a recap: two more surgeries done, met a friend, went for a walk, watched Star Wars, napped. Yeah, recovery seems to be coming along just about right.