144.4 and more Christmas cookies

I have no idea what I am doing anymore. I am overwhelmed yet I ask for more work. Yes, I just said that. I asked for more work, more responsibilities, more growth, more. Just more. Now I need to find the balance. I will, I know I will.

So I have been dealing with a lot of emotional things these last few weeks. I don’t know how to explain it completely. It had a lot do to do with holidays, and wintertime. Darkening skies, colder temps, doctor appointments and weight gain. I have been wearing those emotions on my sleeve and others started taking notice. They have been worried about me. Today I decided to hide my emotions and bring back ‘happy , bouncy fun ball’ Renee. Turns out when I hide my emotions I feed them instead. That is what happened today. I fed ALL my emotions today. I think this is NOT called balance.

Here is how my food day played out:

Breakfast: coffee and creamer. Chocolate super foods shake with dark cherries and spinach.

Get to work and brew more coffee: two cups and creamer.  Emotions are ready to be fed. I opt for a bag of single serving Funyuns.

Lunch came at about 2PM today for me. I was so thankful for my left over tacos from last night because all I could think about is hamburgers. I wanted a cheeseburger so bad. The two tacos were ground turkey, cheese and salsa. Had Kale salad with lemon dressing and parmesan cheese. So far so good…..

Then Manpower brought over Christmas cookies. I ate 4 and one-quarter. The one-quarter is because I bit into one and it was awful so I threw the rest of it away. I guess that is a victory, right?

Anyway I did my yoga Flow workout this morning.

125 ounces of water for the day.

How did you do?

Salmon burgers…….

I didn’t sleep at all last night. Seriously, I didn’t. I have no idea how I was able to make it through work. I was numb in the mind and emotions (until the end of the day when I lost it) I am happy that even though I didn’t sleep I still got up and worked out with a friend. I promised I would and I showed up and that is what matters. I will tell you that I have no idea how in the heck I am still awake right now.!! I should be passed out, I feel very wide awake still. This is how it started last night. Ugh. Hope it is not another toss and turning with my brain not shutting off night..

Anyway here is how the food played out today. I have excuses but I am not going to use them. Here it is:

 

Breakfast was coffee with creamer, one cup. Super foods shake Cafe Latte flavor with spinach, almond butter and blueberries.

Get to work and have two cups of coffee with creamer and three Christmas cookies that a co-worker brought in today. Ugh. Tis’ the season.

Lunch was 1/2 cup of tuna salad with the cauliflower puree and celery. One slice of FFC bread. One cup of kale salad with parmesan cheese and croutons. Also had diluted lemon  dressing. I wanted more food so I bought a bag of Tostitos corn tortilla chips (two servings in one bag) and a cup of Tostitos nacho cheese cup.

Dinner was TWO Angry Orchard Knotty Pear Hard Cider. One cup of frozen green beans, one tablespoonful of garlic aioli and the salmon burger pictured above. The salmon burger has carrot puree in it too.  I was determined to FINALLY make this recipe forgetting that it called for putting the patties in the fridge for one hour first. Yikes! Who has time for that? So I popped them in the freezer and took a shower (I feel better after that) while they set. Hubby and I really enjoyed these! He had his on a bun. I saved one for me to have for lunch tomorrow. I will be making these again and again! So good.

I am only at about 125 ounces of water today. I did do my Yoga Flow on the Go workout this morning and that makes five days in a row. I am excited that I am developing consistency.

So, how did you do today?

I have set a goal…

I weighed in today and it was better than the last few days. I have a goal for the end of December. It is to be 141.1 pounds. Why the .1? well it means if I only get to 141.8 it will be closer or some other weird logic like that. It just looks better on paper that way. More realistic I guess.

I tried to keep a tally today on my servings of veggies. The trouble with that is two of my foods today had veggies hidden in them but I am not 100% sure if it counts as a “serving”.

Any way here is the rundown of food today:

Breakfast: Coffee and maple flavored almond milk creamer, two servings. Super foods shake cafe latte with blueberries and spinach. Added almond butter and turmeric this time too.

Get to work and have a  decaf coffee with the same creamer as above. Then I ended up brewing two more cups by noon.

Lunch: tuna salad (made with cauliflower puree and chunks of celery) One slice of Daves Killer bread (totally fits into the FFC department, fiber filled carb) cucumber slices. I had more tuna than bread so I went to the vending machine and bought a serving of whole grain Cheez-its. It also fit the FFC guidelines. 130 calories, 19 grams of carbs, 2 grams of fiber. Tasted great and I really enjoyed eating them.

Dinner was an Angry Orchard Knotty Pear Cider, the leftover burger patty from last night (it has carrot puree in it) two slices of cheddar cheese and half of a bell pepper. Hubby also made me try the new flavor of Poppable chips he had bought. I had two of them, white cheddar flavor. They were pretty good but I liked the original ones better.

If you were keeping tally of my veggies today I counted them as four; Spinach, Cucumbers, bell pepper and then for each serving of protein that had veggies hidden in them I counted as one more serving. I think that is fair, right?

I have 125 ounces of water in me so far and am half way through another 25 ounces.

I did my workout this morning: Yoga Flow. I really enjoyed it. Looking forward to the Flow on the Go tomorrow with friends.

Do you have an end of the year goal you are trying to reach? How close are you? How did you do with your tracking today?

Went for a drive today..

We went for a drive today. It took us over the passes. There was snow and fog the passes. I tried to snap a decent picture while we were driving. This is the best I could get. Having the snow on the trees made me want to listen to Christmas music. It was a nice drive. Because we were traveling we ate out twice today so my food may look a little questionable. I did make sure to drink plenty of water though.

Had two cups of coffee and creamer at home. Then we headed over to Clark’s Fork for breakfast. I had the “Trapper Wrap” it was filled with egg, potato, sausage gravy, and bacon. I ate half, gave a quarter to the hubby and picked the bacon out of the remains quarter. Had a 12 ounce white mocha too.

On the way back from our destination we stopped in St. Regis for snacks. I had a bottle of water and the hubby found a snack size bag of cheese gouda crackers. We split the bag, they were pretty tasty. You could totally taste the smoky gouda.

We stopped in Coeur d’Alene for a late lunch at our favorite grilled cheese restaurant, Meltz. We decided to split a ‘Gobbler’ This sandwich is amazing! Turkey, stuffing, gravy, sweet potatoes and cranberry aioli. This is my hubby’s favorite sandwich they have and it only comes out during the holidays. I hadn’t had it before. It really is very good. I had a cup of tomato bisque soup with chunks of parmesan in it. Sometimes I actually CRAVE this soup. We also had some of their homemade potato chips.

When I go home I ate three of the Girl Scout almond butter chocolates. Not a lot veggies today that is for sure. Tomorrow will be better. I HAVE to do better the next week. Doctor appointments coming up. Oncologist, DECA and yearly breast exams. Yes, I had mastectomy, no that doesn’t mean I can’t get breast cancer again. Yes, that means I have to still get checked out. Bleh.

I had 160 ounce of water total today.

How did you do?

My eyes are swimming…..

One of the best things you can do if you are trying to lose weight is to drink water. Lots of water. If you over indulged for Thanksgiving (if you didn’t I don’t want to hear about it) the best thing to do the following day is drink MORE water. So to live up to that (the one thing I do right, health wise) I drank ALL THE WATER!!! 200 ounces to be exact. AS you can see in my selfie my eyes are swimming!!  What is your trick to deal with the holiday buffet bloat?

I worked today. I actually like working the day after Thanksgiving. Traffic is reasonable, everyone at work is still in festive holiday happy mood, there are no phones ringing or drivers screaming.

Anyway this is how my day played out. I was doing well until I got home then it all fell apart. Bleh.

Breakfast: coffee with creamer, two cups cafe latte superfoods shake with spinach and blueberries.

On the way to work I stopped by and got a Maple Spice latte 16 ounce hot. (Still my favorite)

Lunch was half an apple. One slice of pineapple (came with the ham) one thin slice of spiral ham (thanks Scott) a few bites of spinach with dressing. Half of a bell pepper and half of a peeled cucumber. See I told you I was doing well.

Had a snack today, thirty sea salted cashews. Cup of decaf with more creamer.

Got home and it ALL fell apart…… walked in the door and ate ten yes TEN chocolate chip cookies!!! Yikes! Asked hubby if he was hungry. He said yes. I told him I was going to only have the cookies. He made ravioli with pesto sauce, it smelled good so he fixed me a bowl too. I had about ten ravioli. Now I am feeling awful and bloated all over again. So more water it is I guess.

How did you do?

It’s a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving….

… My husband was worried that he missed the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special the other day. He kept asking me if we had missed it. He was so happy to find out it was on tonight. I got home after work AND running to the store the night before Thanksgiving (crazy like that) Hubby said that no matter what he was watching Charlie Brown tonight and I was welcome to join him. So I did.

When I was listening to Darren Hardy today for my PD he shared something that stuck with me today: When in doubt choose the harder task. The one you don’t want to do is usually the one you SHOULD do. So much truth to that!!  If I want a trimmer waist line then I MUST do the hard things. Like NOT going to the coffee shop for the special today. Which by the way was hard for me. It is maple spice latte, my favorite and I wanted one so bad……talked myself out of it. I will admit it took a lot of talking but I did talk myself out of it.

Anyway, here is the breakdown of food today:

Breakfast: Coffee with creamer, two cups. Today’s super foods shake was vanilla with spinach, mango almond butter and a splash of turmeric.

Got to work, SKIPPING the coffee shop mind you, and had four cups of coffee with the amazing maple almond milk creamer that I am now officially addicted to.

Long day at my desk waiting for FedEx to call me back, they didn’t so I snacked on some of the Girl Scout sea salted Cashews that I had just bought from one of my staff, you know to support their kid… (sheesh I am a sucker) had 1/2 cup of cashews.

Eventually I went to lunch about 2:30 because my team made me go. I wasn’t really hungry and I wasn’t super excited about my lunch either. I ate some of it; half an apple, 2 cups of spinach with pumpkin seeds and more of that dijon dressing.

After my “quick run” to the grocery store I settled into home for my dinner. Hubby made himself a couple of cheese crisps, I had veggies and an Italian sausage with one cup of the roasted veggies (they are so good still) and Wicked Green Apple cider the whole bottle.

Watched Charlie Brown Thanksgiving with the hubby and am currently cuddled up in a warm bed watching Monk on Amazon Prime. I am very happy in my little world right now.

Water is 150 ounces today. No workout.

 

How did you do?

Tuesday food stories…

I am tired. I am sure you are tired hearing me tell you just how tired I am all the time. I am tired of it too. Looking forward to tomorrow because that means I get to sleep in on Thursday. Woo hoo I have big Thanksgiving plans, sleeping in. (:

Anyway here is the breakdown today:

Breakfast: coffee with maple flavored almond milk creamer. 3 cups. (one was decaf)  One cafe latte superfoods shake with 1 cup spinach and 1/2 cup frozen blueberries. Added a dash of turmeric today.

Work: coffee with the same creamer as above 2 cups (one was half calf)

Lunch: salad with homemade dijon Italian dressing. The salad had pumpkin and flax seeds in it. I was still picking the flax seeds out of my teeth a few hours later. Had the last slice of Dinardi’s white pizza. It has mozzarella and ricotta cheese, sausage and mushrooms too.

Dinner was half of an Italian sausage with 1 cup of the roasted veggies that I made the other day. I think the veggies just get better and better. Happy I made them.

 

Water is at 140 ounces today.

I am happy that I got a small yoga workout in too.

How did you do?

I showered….

yeah, you read that right. I showered. Why do I feel the need to blog about it? Well, this time of year I find that I only shower about twice a week. It may be gross for some but the truth is that it is cold outside and inside and I am just too tired with how dark it gets so early in the day and can I make anymore excuses? #breathe No. It is cold and I just don’t want to be standing around with wet hair in this weather. I don’t want to sleep with wet hair either. #excuses Anyway the hubby doesn’t mind the hairy legs and lets face it the extra hair keeps my legs and arm pits warmer…..#whatever

My day is not a good day with food…I will write it below EXACTLY how I journaled it today:

coffee/creamer 2 shake-vanilla/spinach/blueberries

mocha maple spice 16oz……….caramel latte 16 oz. Side note: I bought the latte as a surprise for a friend who then didn’t show up at work today so I decided to drink it myself.

tacos salad, 1 cup ground turkey taco meat, cheese moldy cabbage-yuck (yes you read that right, moldy cabbage) Scott brought me a 1/4 pounder with cheese large fries and a coke from McDonalds. Ate half the fries the whole burger and drank most of the soda. Still taste the mold. I feel full and bloated and my tongue tastes so gross!!!! more water STAT!!!!

1 cup mac and cheese with hot sauce. I used butter when I made it. 16 ounces lemon basil hard cider

I am on my 150 ounces of water. No workout

Friday.

 

how did you do?

I wrote it down…..I promise!!

I am a huge advocate of water but also I am becoming a huge advocate for writing it down. I carry this large notebook with me to work and back writing down every thing I eat and drink. It is part of the process of becoming the healthiest version of me. Tracking is a big factor in that. It is about learning what is working for me and what is not working for me. I can look back on my journal and know what I ate and if it made an impact on me.

Anyway I left my notebook at work tonight! I will do my best to reconstruct from memory how my food day played out.

Breakfast (this is easy enough) coffee with almond milk creamer. I don’t know why but I always feel like I am supposed to capitalize almond, weird. I had three cups this morning at home. Then my super foods shake was vanilla today with blueberries and spinach. Yeah I have spinach for my shakes again!

Get to work and have two more cups of coffee with the same creamer in it. I am hungry so I get a granola bar from the vending machine. It is one of those almond sweet and crunchy bars. I am sure they are not that good for you but very simple and satisfying.

Lunch was a spicy tuna roll (large, like two servings) with wasabi and ginger and a little soy sauce. I had a salad with poppyseed dressing too.

Dinner….well I get home tired and annoyed by external factors so I open an Angry Orchard and cook the turkey taco meat up. I make three crunchy tacos with lettuce and cheese. I have another hard cider and TWO more tacos!! Wow! I am such a sucker for tacos!! Hubby informs me he bought cookies so I help myself to two double stuff golden Oreo’s.

I have had 135 ounces of water today. No workout Taco Tuesday came a day late but it was good!!

How did you do?

Free bacon and Free coffee in the same day!….

It is Wednesday and I am here to confess my food journal to you. My back was still hurting when I woke up this morning from my yoga injury this morning. It is actually better now. I went ahead and did a yoga workout this morning hoping it would work out whatever it worked in yesterday. As the day progressed it really did start feeling better. When I started my workout this morning every time I went into downward dog I could feel my back starting to spasm. Bleh.

Anyway this is how my day played out:

Breakfast: two cups of coffee with that amazing Maple flavored Almond Milk creamer. Did you know that my spell check does not like the word creamer?  Made my  super-foods shake. Today was cafe latte with spinach, dark cherries and turmeric.

Wanted to get to work earlier so I left earlier. Leaving earlier means I get to go to the coffee stand for a latte. Stopped and got a 16 ounce Maple Spice latte. AND it was FREE today!! Cool.

I am at work trying to work through my emotions and stresses from the day before keeping my head down and catching up on what I left behind from yesterday. Next thing I know my co-worker Mike taps me on the shoulder and says ‘on my desk’ I walk over  and there it is; perfectly crisp lovely bacon on his desk. AND IT WAS ALL MINE!!!Five perfect pieces of bacon. FREE bacon and FREE coffee in the SAME DAY!! Oh what a wonderful world I exist in!

As the day progressed I did need to have another cup of coffee with half and half. Yes, I said need.

Lunch time rolls around and I have my cabbage, broccoli salad with the greek vinaigrette, green olives and shredded chicken. Dang it I still can’t spell vinaigarette! Tomorrow will be the last day of that salad. The bag is empty. I will buy it again though, I really like it! Anyway I was still hungry so I ate all my snacks too. That was a piece of string cheese, cucumbers and pita crackers.

Then I was cold so I made a cup of decaf coffee with more half and half

Came home from work ON TIME (holler) it was a 7:30AM to 5:45PM day. That makes me happy..ish…

I poured out a glass of grapefruit juice (throat is scratchy) added Tito’s vodka to it, you know to kill the germs. #justify Then I made the hubby dinner which was prosciutto stuffed ravioli with pesto sauce. Caught myself eating them out of the pan. A total of sixteen out of the pan to be exact. Asked my hubby to rub my head, neck and shoulders for a bit. Everything is starting to knot up again. Talked myself into having another Angry Orchard Easy Apple.

Now I am calling it a night.

165 ounces of water (after I drink this cup sitting next to me) and the yoga workout this morning. Outside fo the carbs for dinner I am pretty darn happy with myself..I mean come on, free bacon and coffee today!

How did you do?