145.8 Tuesday:What is wrong with me…

Give your best regardless of who is watching. That is what I read today in my personal development. I am being as honest as I can on this blog on what I eat and it is definitely not ‘my best’ Bleh. Here it is in it’s full glory.

Coffee w/creamer (almond milk) 2

Vanilla super foods shake with spinach, almond butter and blueberries.

Work coffee with almond milk, two.

1 and 1/2 ounces of chocolate covered almonds.

Lunch: kale salad with poppy seed dressing and four little tomatoes. 1 cup of pasta from last night. Giant pretzel with cheese dip. Five large Fritos with salsa #thanksscott

One cup of decaf coffee with almond milk.

Get home. I have the CHOICE to eat healthy OR stuff my face since I have to fast for blood work and my infusion tomorrow. I opt for stuffing my face.

This is how dinner played out: Smartfood white cheddar popcorn; one serving. Two cheese crisps. One Angry Orchard hard cider. Two Welches fruit snacks.

WHAT.IS.WRONG.WITH.ME?

My excuses have been the stress and anxiety of my upcoming appointment tomorrow. So the question lies; will I stop eating like this AFTER the weigh in and blood work and infusion tomorrow? I guess we will know soon enough.

I did get my yoga in today and 150 ounces of water.

Make better choices….

the plan was to make better choices. I follow a very simple guideline for food. Breakfast is a protein and carb (a veggie earns extra credit) Lunch is a protein, carb and veggie. If you need a snack it should be a protein and carb and only after lunch . Dinner should be veggies and protein, with the veggies being about 75% of the meal. I struggle with this. Mostly because I love carbs…today was no different. This time my carbs was a glass of champagne. I am not stressed about it. I liked it and it was nice to sit down to dinner tonight with it.

Sometimes I let all the guilt get to me about my food. I hang with people who are super healthy and fit, then I feel bad because I am not there yet. I let the guilt of my upcoming doctor appointments in December (three of them) make me feel bad that I am not down those extra six pounds I wanted from the last appointment. Unfortunately the doctors scale is always five pounds more than mine. The nurses there are not very kind about your weight and when it doesn’t budge they seem to judge you. Funny how an oncologist office can make you feel bad about you weight.

The other day my husband told me that he has seen a change in my attitude. Not in my weight, even though I am down twelve pounds from last year, guess you can’t see it. Makes me mad. Not mad enough to stick to my basic plan and that actually makes me angrier.

It truly is about making better choices on a consistent basis. Guess I am not there yet, I just have to keep trying.

Here is how my food played out today:

Breakfast two cups of coffee and creamer. Cafe Latte super foods shake with blueberries and spinach.

Work: coffee with creamer, two cups. 3 Triscuit crackers with a tablespoonful of a homemade cheese ball. (port cheese, cheddar and cream cheese) Very good.

Lunch: cottage cheese, three slices of bacon (thank you Scott Woods!) half of a honey crisp apple, spinach salad with garbanzo beans and black olives. Tossed it with balsamic vinaigrette.

Dinner tonight is pictured above: Steamed Brussel sprouts and a hamburger patty followed by the last of the champagne.

My headache is finally starting to disappear so that is a good thing.

Worked out this morning Yoga abs and ten minutes of meditation.

Water is at 185 ounces.

 

How did you do today?