Monday. Dexa scan 146.8….

Had my dexa scan today, maybe deca scan.. It is a bone density test. It is one of the easiest appointments I could possibly ever have on this cancer journey of mine. No calcium 24 hours prior and no metal, buckles, or zippers. I wore my workout pants and my wireless bra. Turns out I still had to take my bra off since it had metal hooks. I did put on my work shoes and long socks so I looked quite hilarious in the waiting room. Black knee-length workout pants and socks with cups of coffee on them! Oh well. Made the appointment go easier. I had to turn my left foot in and then the technician strapped my foot in place. It was just funny when she asked me to turn the foot in then explained that she would “secure” it in place. No matter, it went smoothly and hopefully when I see the oncologist  on Wednesday it will have good results.

I am super stressed out about the Wednesday appointment. I know it is what is driving me to eat too much and hot flash too much and not sleep well. Bleh..

This is how my food played out for the day along with emotions too:

Coffee with unsweetened vanilla almond milk; two cups. Chocolate super foods shake with spinach, blueberries and almond butter.

After my appointment I get to work later than usual (duh) and make a cup of coffee with the last of the maple almond milk creamer. Then one cup with almond milk.

Lunch was kale/cabbage salad, one and half cups with pumpkin seeds and dried cranberries, 1 tablespoonful. Had four cherry tomatoes and poppy seed dressing too. The dressing was about 2 tablespoonful and a splash of water to thin it out.

Ate humus and pita chips too. Love the salt. I find it very comforting.

After lunch I enjoyed one of those Lindt chocolate truffles. I really wanted an Almond Joy but we were out of stock. Really hoping after Wednesday I will have less bad cravings and less hot flashes.

Got home and the popcorn the hubby had ordered from Amazon came in. He shared a bag with me. Smartfood White Cheddar popcorn. It was very good! I may have to snag another bag from him tomorrow.

I opened a bottle of Angry Orchard Knotty Pear and started making dinner. Dinner took a long time so I opened another bottle.

I made more of the baked pasta for dinner tonight. This time I used butternut squash instead of carrots in the sauce. It is strictly because I was out of carrot puree so I had to improvise. I still had a bag of cauliflower puree in the freezer so I had that in there too. I steamed a cup of broccoli to accompany my pasta. (pictured above)

So I am counting that as two servings of veggies. That means I had three and half servings of veggies today. At least that is how I am logging it.

Water is at 125 ounces and I did a yoga practice today too.

How did you do?

 

shhh….there’s veggies in there….

Seriously, there are veggies in the dinner tonight. Okay I know in my picture above it is obvious there are veggies in my dinner, but in my hubby’s dinner it was rice and chicken. I added cauliflower puree to the sauce the chicken was cooked in! He liked the taste of it too! One more day of adding something nutritious to his food. One day closer to bringing him over to my side…..bwahahahahahahaha…..

Had breakfast with one of very good friends today. We get to see each other a couple times a year, mostly from scheduling. Anyway we went to a very local yet beloved place today called Kalico Kitchen. I love our face to face visit and covet the time with her. It is a very blessed way to start a Sunday off.  Anyhoo, this is how my food day played out:

Coffee with creamer two cups. Headed out to breakfast had three more cups of coffee with half and half and sugar. Three cups. Ordered the egg tacos. These are very good. It was two fried corn tortillas stuffed with scrambled eggs, cheese and bacon. I added salsa to them too.

I ran to the grocery store after our breakfast, tried to do my shopping without a plan. Ha! that is never a good idea! Forgot stuff and bought things I didn’t need. #bigsigh

Got home and helped myself to three pieces of the Girl Scout Almond Butter cups along with half of a bell pepper and half of a peeled slice cucumber. Guess I will call that lunch today.

Made dinner tonight, pictured above. It is one of the recipes from the Jessica Seinfeld cookbooks. It was called creamy chicken. I served mine over veggies in an effort to get back to protein/veggies for dinner. It was pretty tasty. I made rice for the hubby. I had enough leftover rice and chicken that it will be my lunch tomorrow with more of the roasted veggies. I like having lunch packed and ready the day before. Gives me more time in the morning.

I did decide to have ‘dessert’ tonight. Made myself a super foods shake. I had vanilla shake with turmeric and cinnamon. I added ice cubes to make it more shake like. It was a nice dessert! Adding the turmeric made it like golden milk that I used to make when going through chemotherapy.

I actually did a workout today!?!?!? A full thirty minute workout that is! Yoga all over body workout.

Had 160 ounces of water today too. I am feeling pretty good about myself about now. It isn’t perfect (neither am I) but it is better than I have been doing. I am CHOOSING to make better choices from here on out. Especially after the hubby informed me that he has noticed attitude changes in me but not more than ten pound physical changes in me. #saddays My end goal is to make him proud of me and this means I am not near my goal yet. I must work harder.

Well that is how I tracked today.

How did you do?

another day done…

Woke up today. Sometimes I feel like that is half the battle. The other half is minding my emotions when I don’t feel well or am tired. Seriously, it is hard to keep my mouth shut and my emotions from telling me to eat. Today was one of those days. I didn’t keep my emotions under control when things went wrong. I am tired from not feeling well and that didn’t help either. There is no food in the house and my plan was to go after work. That didn’t happen either. Too tired, too emotional, too many excuses.

I called my hubby told him I was leaving work and I was too tired to go to the store. He said come on home. I did. I ordered Chinese takeout. I am now over full and slightly embarrassed to tell you what I ate this time. Yet here I am confessing to you once again.

Breakfast: coffee with almond milk creamer (shoot I don’t have any for tomorrow) three cups. Cafe Latte super foods shake with almond butter and blueberries.

Went to work and had another cup of coffee with creamer. Then I ran up to the coffee shop and got a 16 ounce dirty Chai latte.

For lunch I had a cabbage/romaine salad with bacon bits and a maple bacon vinaigrette. Half of an apple. A serving of raw almonds.

Now dinner is a much different story: Chinese take out that involves seven fried cheese wontons dipped in sweet and sour sauce. Two spring rolls dipped in sweet and sour sauce. Broccoli, it came in the orange chicken container. Orange chicken, a few pieces of plain fried chicken that I, yep you guessed it, dipped in sweet and sour sauce. One fortune cookie that said ‘luck is coming my way’. Wish it said health and sleep were coming my way.

No workout today. Although I did shower so that is one step better than the weekend.

Water was okay. 150 ounces.

How did you do today?

Last night I slept without a bra on….

I know this may not seem like much to you. In fact I would venture to guess the majority of people sleep without bras on. I used to be one of those people.

When I had the double mastectomy with reconstruction I came home from the hospital wearing a velcro wrap. It was tight and uncomfortable. It was necessary to wear to keep the swelling down and to make sure my new foobs stayed in place and would look symmetrical. Eventually I was allowed to exchange the wrap for a sports bra. I had to wear the sports bra all the time, including at night.

As time went on and the expanders were filled to the capacity I wanted, I was able to wear my ‘pretty bras’ again during the day. At night the expanders were so uncomfortable and unmovable that I would wear the sports bra or the surgery bra to bed to be a buffer. Laying on my side was tricky and the support of a bra helped.

Because of chemotherapy the exchange surgery had to be postponed for months. MONTHS! I had to wear the hard and awkward expanders for ten months. That meant continuing to sleep in a bra or some sort of supportive garment.

Last night I felt confident enough to sleep without a bra on. I slept on my side, on my back and on the other side. It felt wonderful and honestly I almost felt normal. NORMAL!?!?!?!?! Is that such a thing? I can’t even recall feeling normal, except for those rare occasional moments that last for just a minute or two.

I have a followup appointment this coming week with the plastic surgeon. I think everything looks great, as great as it is can get considering. I am looking forward to her telling me that. And that I will be able to jog again. And that I can wear my pretty bras that I just bought from an online company that specializes in bras for mastectomy and reconstruction patients. They are expensive but very pretty. I want to be as normal as possible, I think the new bras will help. So will the jogging. So will the ‘all is clear and good’ from the doctor.

No bra at night, pretty bras during the day. Who knows, next I might wear jeans again.

 

Just a few scattered thoughts..

Today I woke up with chaffing on my inner thighs! How can I get chaffing in my sleep?!?! All I can figure is the night sweats are so bad that the inner thighs are sticking together with all the slimy sweat that they are feeling chaffed but are really just chapped. Chapped thighs, from sweat, in my sleep. Can it get any sexier than that?

I know that this next surgery is going to directly affect my abs so in my Cancercize with Renee B videos I have been hitting them “hard”. I use that term loosely because I am still not at full workout capacity. It must be working because my abs are SORE!!! So sore that now I worry that I over did it and will make recovery very challenging.

Also, speaking of  Cancercize with Renee B on YouTube : https://youtu.be/3t8Agt5Cn0s As of today I will have worked out 120 days in a row!! IN A ROW!! This is huge in my eyes. Especially when you consider that I started after my double amputation and while going through chemotherapy. I know the workouts are not super intense and sometimes not very long. It doesn’t matter. I moved, on purpose, 120 days in a row. It is documented on YouTube. This makes me happy. No it is not why my thighs feel chaffed.

Surgery is tomorrow. I am not allowed to eat or drink after midnight tonight. That means no coffee in the morning. I get caffeine headaches if I don’t have a cup in the morning (not addicted) do you think if I drink coffee all day today it will hold me over? That is what I do with the water. I must have water first thing in the morning too or I feel lousy all day.

I find it odd that the hospital hasn’t called yet to do the pre check in. It is a different hospital this time but they are all part of the same network so maybe they just assume I read my letter from a few weeks ago and I just remember to not eat or drink. To not take ibuprofen one week before (I kind of forgot but I think it was a week ago I took it) To not shave the surgery area. I have no idea what I am to wear after the surgery since my stomach will have holes and be bloated. I do not have prescriptions yet for pain or infection. It is a bit unsettling. Maybe they will call today.

I think there is a possibility I do have chaffing after all. I tried to put jeans on the other day for work since it has ‘cooled’ off a bit over here. As soon as I put them on my body went into heat stroke mode….so put on the dress. That means thigh on thigh action when I walk at work. I need to find my Glide and apply it today.

I have decided. I am drinking ALL the coffee and all the water today. I am going to do a squat workout and later tonight some distressing stretching to calm my nerves. The chaffing will disappear since I will be not moving so much in the next few days. I am still going to see Paula. Chapped thighs and bloated gut and all.

Warned you, scattered thoughts. Thanks for hanging in and finishing this rambling with me. Have a great day!! I am all hopped up on coffee and nerves so you know mine will be entertaining to others at least. (: