That is a phrase that has been playing in my head for the last few days. Trouble is, I don’t really know where my heart is right now. Hard to work from somewhere when you don’t know where you are.
I chalk it up to wintertime, depression and my upcoming doctor appointments. I want a good weigh in for my appointment yet I keep eating the carbs. I know this won’t work yet I keep sabotaging myself. I wanted the scale to be down by five pounds more than the number above but it won’t happen.
Water: 125 ounces
Workout: Yoga balance. Move of the day.
Breakfast: coffee and creamer, two cups (one was decaf) Super foods shake chocolate, spinach and blueberries
Work: two cups of coffee with creamer
Lunch: tuna salad with celery and cauliflower. One slice of Daves Killer Bread. Half of a yellow bell pepper and 1 ounce of Cheez-its.
More coffee, decaf this time. Yes, there was creamer.
Dinner tonight was tacos. Yes the ones pictured above. I don’t know what it is about homemade tacos but I have to eat them ALL! I had four tacos tonight. I used ground turkey cooked in canola oil. Shredded cheese and salsa to top it off. Had a hard cider. It is the one listed above, it is made in Portland OR which is close to home so I had to try it. It is a true semi sweet. Not to bad.
I dove back into the left over ginger cookies. I had six of them. I think I will take the rest to work with me so I don’t eat them.
I didn’t sleep at all last night. Seriously, I didn’t. I have no idea how I was able to make it through work. I was numb in the mind and emotions (until the end of the day when I lost it) I am happy that even though I didn’t sleep I still got up and worked out with a friend. I promised I would and I showed up and that is what matters. I will tell you that I have no idea how in the heck I am still awake right now.!! I should be passed out, I feel very wide awake still. This is how it started last night. Ugh. Hope it is not another toss and turning with my brain not shutting off night..
Anyway here is how the food played out today. I have excuses but I am not going to use them. Here it is:
Breakfast was coffee with creamer, one cup. Super foods shake Cafe Latte flavor with spinach, almond butter and blueberries.
Get to work and have two cups of coffee with creamer and three Christmas cookies that a co-worker brought in today. Ugh. Tis’ the season.
Lunch was 1/2 cup of tuna salad with the cauliflower puree and celery. One slice of FFC bread. One cup of kale salad with parmesan cheese and croutons. Also had diluted lemon dressing. I wanted more food so I bought a bag of Tostitos corn tortilla chips (two servings in one bag) and a cup of Tostitos nacho cheese cup.
Dinner was TWO Angry Orchard Knotty Pear Hard Cider. One cup of frozen green beans, one tablespoonful of garlic aioli and the salmon burger pictured above. The salmon burger has carrot puree in it too. I was determined to FINALLY make this recipe forgetting that it called for putting the patties in the fridge for one hour first. Yikes! Who has time for that? So I popped them in the freezer and took a shower (I feel better after that) while they set. Hubby and I really enjoyed these! He had his on a bun. I saved one for me to have for lunch tomorrow. I will be making these again and again! So good.
I am only at about 125 ounces of water today. I did do my Yoga Flow on the Go workout this morning and that makes five days in a row. I am excited that I am developing consistency.
We went for a drive today. It took us over the passes. There was snow and fog the passes. I tried to snap a decent picture while we were driving. This is the best I could get. Having the snow on the trees made me want to listen to Christmas music. It was a nice drive. Because we were traveling we ate out twice today so my food may look a little questionable. I did make sure to drink plenty of water though.
Had two cups of coffee and creamer at home. Then we headed over to Clark’s Fork for breakfast. I had the “Trapper Wrap” it was filled with egg, potato, sausage gravy, and bacon. I ate half, gave a quarter to the hubby and picked the bacon out of the remains quarter. Had a 12 ounce white mocha too.
On the way back from our destination we stopped in St. Regis for snacks. I had a bottle of water and the hubby found a snack size bag of cheese gouda crackers. We split the bag, they were pretty tasty. You could totally taste the smoky gouda.
We stopped in Coeur d’Alene for a late lunch at our favorite grilled cheese restaurant, Meltz. We decided to split a ‘Gobbler’ This sandwich is amazing! Turkey, stuffing, gravy, sweet potatoes and cranberry aioli. This is my hubby’s favorite sandwich they have and it only comes out during the holidays. I hadn’t had it before. It really is very good. I had a cup of tomato bisque soup with chunks of parmesan in it. Sometimes I actually CRAVE this soup. We also had some of their homemade potato chips.
When I go home I ate three of the Girl Scout almond butter chocolates. Not a lot veggies today that is for sure. Tomorrow will be better. I HAVE to do better the next week. Doctor appointments coming up. Oncologist, DECA and yearly breast exams. Yes, I had mastectomy, no that doesn’t mean I can’t get breast cancer again. Yes, that means I have to still get checked out. Bleh.
One of the best things you can do if you are trying to lose weight is to drink water. Lots of water. If you over indulged for Thanksgiving (if you didn’t I don’t want to hear about it) the best thing to do the following day is drink MORE water. So to live up to that (the one thing I do right, health wise) I drank ALL THE WATER!!! 200 ounces to be exact. AS you can see in my selfie my eyes are swimming!! What is your trick to deal with the holiday buffet bloat?
I worked today. I actually like working the day after Thanksgiving. Traffic is reasonable, everyone at work is still in festive holiday happy mood, there are no phones ringing or drivers screaming.
Anyway this is how my day played out. I was doing well until I got home then it all fell apart. Bleh.
Breakfast: coffee with creamer, two cups cafe latte superfoods shake with spinach and blueberries.
On the way to work I stopped by and got a Maple Spice latte 16 ounce hot. (Still my favorite)
Lunch was half an apple. One slice of pineapple (came with the ham) one thin slice of spiral ham (thanks Scott) a few bites of spinach with dressing. Half of a bell pepper and half of a peeled cucumber. See I told you I was doing well.
Had a snack today, thirty sea salted cashews. Cup of decaf with more creamer.
Got home and it ALL fell apart…… walked in the door and ate ten yes TEN chocolate chip cookies!!! Yikes! Asked hubby if he was hungry. He said yes. I told him I was going to only have the cookies. He made ravioli with pesto sauce, it smelled good so he fixed me a bowl too. I had about ten ravioli. Now I am feeling awful and bloated all over again. So more water it is I guess.
… My husband was worried that he missed the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special the other day. He kept asking me if we had missed it. He was so happy to find out it was on tonight. I got home after work AND running to the store the night before Thanksgiving (crazy like that) Hubby said that no matter what he was watching Charlie Brown tonight and I was welcome to join him. So I did.
When I was listening to Darren Hardy today for my PD he shared something that stuck with me today: When in doubt choose the harder task. The one you don’t want to do is usually the one you SHOULD do. So much truth to that!! If I want a trimmer waist line then I MUST do the hard things. Like NOT going to the coffee shop for the special today. Which by the way was hard for me. It is maple spice latte, my favorite and I wanted one so bad……talked myself out of it. I will admit it took a lot of talking but I did talk myself out of it.
Anyway, here is the breakdown of food today:
Breakfast: Coffee with creamer, two cups. Today’s super foods shake was vanilla with spinach, mango almond butter and a splash of turmeric.
Got to work, SKIPPING the coffee shop mind you, and had four cups of coffee with the amazing maple almond milk creamer that I am now officially addicted to.
Long day at my desk waiting for FedEx to call me back, they didn’t so I snacked on some of the Girl Scout sea salted Cashews that I had just bought from one of my staff, you know to support their kid… (sheesh I am a sucker) had 1/2 cup of cashews.
Eventually I went to lunch about 2:30 because my team made me go. I wasn’t really hungry and I wasn’t super excited about my lunch either. I ate some of it; half an apple, 2 cups of spinach with pumpkin seeds and more of that dijon dressing.
After my “quick run” to the grocery store I settled into home for my dinner. Hubby made himself a couple of cheese crisps, I had veggies and an Italian sausage with one cup of the roasted veggies (they are so good still) and Wicked Green Apple cider the whole bottle.
Watched Charlie Brown Thanksgiving with the hubby and am currently cuddled up in a warm bed watching Monk on Amazon Prime. I am very happy in my little world right now.
I am a huge advocate of water but also I am becoming a huge advocate for writing it down. I carry this large notebook with me to work and back writing down every thing I eat and drink. It is part of the process of becoming the healthiest version of me. Tracking is a big factor in that. It is about learning what is working for me and what is not working for me. I can look back on my journal and know what I ate and if it made an impact on me.
Anyway I left my notebook at work tonight! I will do my best to reconstruct from memory how my food day played out.
Breakfast (this is easy enough) coffee with almond milk creamer. I don’t know why but I always feel like I am supposed to capitalize almond, weird. I had three cups this morning at home. Then my super foods shake was vanilla today with blueberries and spinach. Yeah I have spinach for my shakes again!
Get to work and have two more cups of coffee with the same creamer in it. I am hungry so I get a granola bar from the vending machine. It is one of those almond sweet and crunchy bars. I am sure they are not that good for you but very simple and satisfying.
Lunch was a spicy tuna roll (large, like two servings) with wasabi and ginger and a little soy sauce. I had a salad with poppyseed dressing too.
Dinner….well I get home tired and annoyed by external factors so I open an Angry Orchard and cook the turkey taco meat up. I make three crunchy tacos with lettuce and cheese. I have another hard cider and TWO more tacos!! Wow! I am such a sucker for tacos!! Hubby informs me he bought cookies so I help myself to two double stuff golden Oreo’s.
I have had 135 ounces of water today. No workout Taco Tuesday came a day late but it was good!!
Woke up this morning and was disappointed with myself. Disappointed that I didn’t get stuff done on my list over the weekend. When I wake up like that I know I have to work extra hard to fight off making bad choices with eating. When you see my list today of food consumed today you will see the pattern emerge.
Breakfast: coffee with almond milk (2) Espresso with chocolate almond milk (2) Superfoods shake chocolate with banana, spinach and turmeric.
Lunch: After a few meetings and falling behind on my work I found myself craving Fritos. I don’t know why, except not sleeping well and waking up disappointed. I drank my water and hoped it would go away. It didn’t. I went to lunch and bought a snack size, yet very expensive bag of Fritos. Sat down and put my lunch together. It was a cole slaw with Dijon mustard and rice wine vinegar, tuna salad with greek yogurt and cucumbers and half of a honey crisp apple. The apple is a sensible fiber filled carb. I am eating my salad and really enjoying it. It tasted great. Then I see that bag of chips sitting there and I feel guilty for buying them when I didn’t really want them anymore. So what do I do? Well I eat them anyway. #disappointment
Dinner: Poured a glass of the bottle of Pumpita that I found at Target the other day. I like Sangria and Blood Oranges. I did NOT like this. I don’t really drink wine anymore unless it is a glass of champagne or Prosseco. This was awful. I dumped it out. That is the one thing I am NOT disappointed about! Dinner tonight was roasted chicken and mini bell peppers. It was actually good. I surprised myself even. I am not the best cook and I am really challenged with cooking from ‘feel’ or ‘sight’. I put it all on a pan and roasted it for for about 40 minutes. Hubby even liked the chicken.
I decided I needed to warm up so I made a cup of decaf coffee with a splash of chocolate almond milk.
I tried to upload my picture of my dinner from tonight. It didn’t work. We went to Picabu Bistro, once featured on Diner Drive Ins and Dives with Guy F. We used to live in that neighborhood and went quite often. They have this appetizer called angry prawns and it is soooo good! It will cure what ails you..seriously if you are coming down with cold, eat the prawns. If you are sad, eat the prawns. If you are celebrating eat the prawns. So with that said it will be a bit tricky to log what I had for dinner but here is the best I can do.
Breakfast: Coffee with almond milk (two) Espresso with almond milk and Irish cream/chocolate syrup Had my chocolate superfoods shake with dark cherries and spinach. Stopped at the coffee shop and had a mocha maple spice latte. Very good.
Lunch: around 2PM today. A slice of FFC bread with tuna salad that I made with turmeric , bell pepper and cucumbers. Had the rest of the mushy cauliflower that I “steamed” overcooked in the Instant Pot (another story) Pita chips and humus.
Dinner: lovely dinner… Two yes TWO cranberry hard ciders, share the angry prawns appetizers with the hubby. Shrimp in a spicy creamy sauce and sourdough bread. Then I had a dijon steak salad. So good…. enough food for three meals…
Well here it is Friday and I am ready to confess my ‘off the track’ healthy lifestyle diet fails….again. #brokenrecord I will tell you now this will be different than all the other posts because it involves the Friday donut. Here we go…..
Breakfast: half a cup of coffee because the Keurig would only brew A HALF A CUP!!!!! #blerg Vanilla shake with spinach, almond butter and 1/2 cup of blueberries
Decided to day to surprise my work team with donuts so I ran by the grocery store on the way to work to get two dozen donuts. Picked up a twelve pack of Mt. Dew to surprise the hubby with when I got home. At the store I annoyed a lot of people because it took me forever to pick out the two dozen donuts for the guys. Wanted to get all their favorites.
Since the Keurig disappointed me I stopped by the coffee shop and got the special Maple Spice is still going. Very good.
Work: A cinnamon roll donut thing. I HAD to have one since I brought them, right? Had a meeting at work. Came down, ATE ANOTHER DONUT!!!!WHAT!?!?!?!? Yeah that is two donuts in a one and half hour span! Yikes!!
Then I drank 75 ounces of water in the next two hours to ‘wash out the donuts’
Lunch: Didn’t;t eat. Two many donuts. Too full.
3PM: ate my carrot sticks
Dinner: baked potato with butter and a large grilled steak! Potato is a veggie, right? Brewed a sweet raspberry tea with Tito’s vodka added to it. Then for dessert I made a decaf coffee with Patron XO Cafe Dark in it with the last of the vanilla almond milk..
and that brings us to now….
Not the best day. But it is what it is and I am being accountable to you.
Do you know what your last meal would be? I mean if you had knowledge that you were not going to be able to eat again, or the end of the world was coming what your last meal would be. I don’t know what mine would be either. Tonight it was macaroni and cheese…not because it was what I wanted but it is what hubby wanted.
I feel like it is my last meal because this is the week I am going to start eating mostly veggies. I am getting ready to do a 3 Day Reboot and it is a lot of veggies, A LOT and a few protein shakes along with my regular daily superfoods shake. I am going to do that on Wednesday, but Monday I am getting ready for the reboot by eating mostly salads and veggies. It is just easier on your belly that way.
So the mac and cheese tonight feels like my last meal.
This is how my day went. WARNING THIS IS BAD….
Coffee with almond milk, two cups of espresso with almond milk and half and half and a shot of salted caramel flavor. Breakfast two, yes I said TWO donuts from our favorite local donut bakery. Lunch: grilled cheese sandwich with a lot of butter on it. Ice Cream sandwich. Humus and the last of the pita crackers too.
Dinner….mac and cheese with a huge dose of chula sauce.
I didn’t drink enough water either.
I will tell you the truth. I did not get the things done today that I wanted to get done. Why? Because I didn’t eat right and all the sugar and carbs makes me tired and lethargic. I am really looking forward to getting this fixed in my life.
I have a quote if you will that I am trying to practice in my life: “If you are too busy then it really isn’t important to you” Mel Robbins.. She wrote the 5 Second Rule. Has a IG page that I jump into once in awhile when I need to be reminded that I need to just get over it.